love Archives | Bad Days Better

Well tonight we had family thanksgiving with my wifes side of the family it really was some good food.  In fact I had some great cranberry relish and some good potatoe stuffing.  As usual I washed it down with my wife’s pecan pie.  I am biased and I know it but my wife males the best pecan pie in the world.      We had a lot of folks here at the ridgeway Baptist church but as I sat hear I was thinking about family and how we are all different.  I am glad that my wife’s family is not the same as my family how boring would life be if we were all the same.  I know for me life would be boring. 

     If I am really honest I use to jot want to come to these things with my wife.  Deep down inside I guess I never really felt welcome but I would always cone to make my wife happy.  I know how lame I am but it is the truth.  Now for the most part I like to come.  But I can’t help but wonder if this is how so many feel coming to our churches.  Do they come in the door looking to be accepted and loved into a family but in the end they feel rejected and not part of the family at all.  I think we are failing miserably in the church and when we stop making church less about our comforts.and more about loving God and loving others we will see Him move.  Lets together change the atmosphere of how we do church.

I read a book that changed my life.  It changed how I look at things and how I do things and how I think.  It was call “The heart of the Problem”  below is kind of some thoughts.

I am not sure why it is so hard for us to say we are sorry or to simply ask for forgiveness.  I am assuming it really boils down to pride and for whatever reason our fear.  We never want to admit that perhaps we said something wrong or did something wrong.  We don’t want to admit that perhaps we handled something wrong or that perhaps we should have our could have handled things differently.  We don’t want to admit that perhaps we had a bad attitude, or a wrong attitude, or a critical spirit when we should not have.  Why?  Why do we carry around strange feeling for other people.  Why do we want that baggage with us.  Why do we sit and wonder what others are thinking about us or whether they think about us at all.  Why are we so willing to harbor bitterness or to deny that we are at fault in anything.

To many times Christians have broken relationships and for whatever reason we think it is ok or that it will just go away.  I find nowhere in scripture that it is just ok.  I can not find anywhere where if we have offended our brother or sister that the best way we handle it is to do nothing.  I also do not find anywhere in scripture that if we have offended another or sinned against them and they ask for forgiveness that we can just assume that we have no responsibility.

The world looks at us as Christians and the very thing that we are to show them we lack.  We lack the desire to truly forgive, we lack the desire to love our neighbor as ourself, we lack the desire to ask for forgiveness.  Really we lack humility and somehow we gloss over it and we think that it is all ok.  Well it is not all ok.  It is sin and there is no human remedy for it.  It will not just fix itself.

I am sure there are people that dont like me much and I am sure there are those that are holding a grudge against me or even are bitter towards me.  I wish I knew who they were I wish they would be brave enough just to tell me so I could say I am sorry so I could ask for forgiveness, so restoration could take place.  So they could deal with any sin of bitterness or anger they have towards me, and so we could display to a world that is looking for christians to be real could see what Christianity is truly about.

So if you are reading this and I have offended you or you are angry at me or bitter towards me for some reason.  Wherever you are, whatever your thoughts I would ask for your forgiveness and say I am sorry for anything that I have done that may have caused harm.

The phone rang at about 7:35 this morning and my wife woke me up and said it was a school wanting me to sub.  As I answered the phone and was asked if I could come in an sub this morning I agreed and then asked what class i was subbing for.  The response Kindergarden.  I have greatly enjoyed my time in the classroom and my time substitute however I have not subbed for elementary in a long time much less I have never subbed for Kindergarden.  Suddenly I had vision of the Movie Kindergarden cop and I wondered how in the world will I deal with 21 Kindergardeners.  

I arrived to the classroom and immediately had two teachers helping me out and showing me the ropes.  A day that I thought might turn out to be a day that I definitely would loose my last few hairs turned out to be a day that was awesome and a day that God used to teach me more about acceptance than anything.  I walked into the class with some preconceived ideas but I left with not only a greater appreciation for Kindergarden teachers everywhere but with a realization of how we can influence such young children.

Granted my day was filled with alot of tattle tailing, whining, and crying but that is not what the day was about.  The day was bout the kids that accepted me as their substitute and how they listened and most of all about all of the hugs I received from these little children and how they would tell me how much they liked me and even tell me they loved me.  Now we might say that is just the way these kids are but in them I saw Gods wonderful creation today.  I could not help but wonder what if we accepted others the same way these children accepted me.  What if we hugged on one another and let others know we loved them and we really did care about them.  What if we took the time to love on those that we barely even our acquaintances.  many times in the church we find it difficult to love those we know well this way much less those we barley know.  What would it look like if we only learned from these little kindergarden students.  I wonder.

The other day I was in talking with two pastors.  After about 30 minutes or so we broke the conversation off and the other Pastor asked if I would talk with him in his office.  I took him up on the offer.  We discussed many different things during that time but what impressed on me the most was his desire to meet with me consistently.  This pastor really did not know me he knew about me but did not know me yet he asked if I would be willing to allow him to hold me accountable.  This impressed me because often times I have wanted this type of a relationship or even mentoring but rarely have people had the time or desire to do so.  I am excited to see what God is going to do in this relationship.

My first assignment was to pick out a book of his.  I selected “The Bruised Reed” which is part of the Puritan Paperbacks.  In the first chapter I found it quite interesting that we must be bruised before we come to Christ which calls us to cry out for His mercy.  However after conversion we still need bruising because of the pride in our nature.  

I reflect on the times I often need bruising how often I led pride stand in the way.  These are the times that I am thinking more highly of myself than I should.  These are the times I experience a bruising.  When I was younger my stepfather would spank me so hard that my bottom would be left bruised.  He did this because i would not cry.  I would not forget those spanking and remember them to this day.  Sometimes God has to give me spanking bruise me so I can see myself for who I really am.  

The second part of my assignment was to read Hebrews 13.  Verse 1 says Let “love of the brethren continue.”   This is one of the marks of Christian conduct.  ”brotherly love”.  Believers are supposed to have a special kind of love it is a brotherly love.  The greek word for “brethren” is (adelphos) which means from the same womb.  The Greek word for love is (phileo) which means deep seated affection or care.  People that have this kind of love come from the same womb or in this case the same source they have been born again.  This is the kind of love we are called to display as Christians.

I saw this type of love displayed recently in a church.  It is hard to believe I saw this take place in a business meeting of all places.  You see earlier that day the Youth Pastor had announced his resignation.  He had been at the church for 2 years.  At the business meeting it was recommended that they gave him 6 months severance and a full year of insurance.  This nearly brought tears to me eyes.  When I talked with one of the Pastors he said it is what we had to do it was the right thing.  Brotherly love was indeed displayed.

I pray that one opportunity arrises I will display that brotherly love that is discussed here in Hebrews 13.

Many times I feel one of the greatest failures in Christian live is our inability to love one another.  In addition it is also our inability to show the world that we love one another.  We all know the verse right  ”By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).  I know alot of Christians that say they love one another.  I mean that is an easy thing to say right “I love you” well it might be easier for some then others.  The reality of it is we do not have to work that heard many times to tell someone we love them.  We hear it from Christians all the time “I love you in the Lord”  not sure why we need to add in the Lord, but we say that.  I think it has become all to common place to say it and not really show it.  

I often think of this when someone is hurting and I hear someone say “they love the person” and often I want to ask “really how are you showing it”.   Why do we get caught into this trap of saying we love others but not displaying that love.  I am so often reminded of

James 2:15-16 If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?

Sure we may not do something that seems so drastic but we do this very thing all the time.  We know someone hurting or in need and we know we are called to show love but instead we make excuse.

This verse has been on my mind lately “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)

This verse very plainly and clearly ells us to have a “fervent” love for one another.  The word for fervent ther is (eketenes) which is an athletic word.  It means to stretch and to reach out; to strain and exert to the utmost degree just like an athlete in a race.  This is telling us to be passionate about loving our brothers and sisters in Christ.  This is not just some warm fuzzy feeling that we often have or that we say to one another it goes beyond that.  It is more then just even having some sentimental or caring feeling for another person.  

This verse is commanding us to love with this great love this love of fervency.  But here is what is even greater the verse says “above all” this love is to be put in front of anything else.  This is the most important duty of a believer in Jesus Christ.  We are to put every once of energy in our minds and hearts to love.  This means that we love others even when they have hurt us, or abuse us, or persecute us, or oppose us, or ridicule us, or speak bad about us, or injure us, or make fun of us.  We choose to love regardless of circumstances.

You know what the greatest part about all of this is.  When we love each other with this fervent love “it covers a multitude of sins.” Wow only if Christians to grasp on to this.  Only if we could understand what it means to love in this way. what does it mean?

1. It means that we are not saying we love and at the same time hating, and reacting, and sinning.
2. it means that we are loving with a spirit of forgiveness, not living with some sort of sinful unforgiving spirit.
3. It means that this kind of love will help us to reach those who do evil to us and win them to Christ.  

I pray I will love like this love with a fervent love instead of the typical love I see christians proclaiming.