Finding Hope Through Scripture’s Enduring Wisdom

Finding Hope Through Scripture’s Enduring Wisdom

by | Nov 3, 2024 | Christianity, Church, Theology

Romans 15:4 (ESV)

4 For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

The Enduring Legacy of the Old Testament

Examining Romans 15:4 reveals Paul’s unwavering affirmation of the Old Testament’s crucial role in the Christian life. Despite dismissive views like that of Henry Ford’s infamous assertion that “all history is bunk,” the Apostle Paul emphasizes how God uses history as a grand tapestry to unveil His nature and plan of salvation. Joshua 1:8 reinforces this, urging believers to keep the “Book of the Law” constantly in their minds, meditating on it diligently and to faithfully adhere to its teachings. Paul underscores the enduring value of the Old Testament Scriptures, countering modern cynicism that often dismisses history as mere academic study. He proclaims that history, manifested through God’s revelation in Scripture, is God’s intended medium for revealing Himself and His redemptive purposes. Unlike abstract concepts, God’s communication is deeply intertwined with real historical events and everyday life, reminding us of His presence, reliability, and faithfulness. Understanding Paul’s words in Romans 15:4 invites us to appreciate the sovereign purpose God demonstrates through this divine revelation. We recognize that our Lord deliberately chose the historical narrative of Scripture to unveil His redemptive plan.

The Call to Study: More Than Head Knowledge

For many, the concept of deep, doctrinal study may seem daunting or even unnecessary. We hear believers say, “I’m not interested in studying doctrine; I want something practical—news I can use. I don’t need head knowledge.” However, a true grasp of biblical teaching is not detached from practical life but serves as its very foundation. Proverbs 2:6 states, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Doctrine is not dry intellectualism; it is the deep well of wisdom from which we draw strength and clarity for our daily walk.

Studying Scripture carefully does not always yield instant answers for immediate problems, yet it grants us profound insight into the eternal truths that underpin our lives. Through this wisdom, we develop a firm foundation that equips us to endure life’s trials. The Scriptures provide hope—not by offering quick fixes, but by immersing us in God’s enduring truth.

Endurance and Encouragement in Times of Discouragement

The Scriptures are filled with examples of God’s faithfulness and with teachings that guide our hearts toward perseverance. In times of weariness or discouragement, God’s Word gives us both encouragement and endurance. The psalmist writes, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him” (Psalm 42:11). When Paul speaks of Scripture’s power to instill hope, he emphasizes that it does so by steadying our souls through all circumstances. This hope does not fade; it enables us to remain steadfast, knowing that God’s promises are sure.

When we experience despair or feel our courage ebbing away, it is frequently a sign that we are ignoring the inspiration and guidance of Scripture. Hope and endurance are like twin pillars in the Christian life: hope provides a vision for a future rooted in God’s promises, while endurance steadies us in the present journey. Together, they transform our outlook, giving us patience amid life’s difficulties and keeping despair at bay.

God, Our Divine Instructor

The idea that God Himself desires to be our teacher should amaze us. Jesus invited His disciples to “come and learn from me” (Matthew 11:29). We often invest substantial time and resources in worldly education, seminars, and self-help resources, yet the Lord, in His grace, offers the deepest wisdom freely through His Word. As our Divine Instructor, He teaches us with patience, guiding us toward lasting joy, hope, and faithfulness.

Unlike earthly instruction, which can be riddled with error, God’s teaching is perfect and unchanging. His wisdom does not fail, and His Word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11). In the pages of Scripture, we find all we need for a life that is both pleasing to God and deeply fulfilling. This instruction is invaluable, not just for temporary success but for eternal life.

Living Coram Deo: Embodying Scriptural Truth

I love how R.C. Sproul puts it when he talks about The Christian life is lived coram Deo—before the face of God. To live coram Deo means to bring every thought, word, and action under the authority of God’s truth. In our study of Scripture, we should always seek ways to embody the truths we learn. James reminds us, “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves” (James 1:22). The goal of Bible study is not merely to gain knowledge, but to allow that knowledge to shape our character, guide our decisions, and bring glory to God in every aspect of our lives.

As we deepen our understanding of Scripture, we are called to apply its wisdom to our daily walk. By studying doctrine, we are not just learning abstract truths but are being shaped into people who reflect God’s character. In this, we bring greater honor to our Lord, living in a way that is both obedient and joyful.

Hope Through the Endurance of the Scriptures

The Scriptures were written for our instruction, endurance, and encouragement, to grant us hope in all seasons. In a world that often casts history aside as “bunk,” we know from the testimony of Scripture that God has worked through time and history to reveal Himself to us. By studying His Word, we are given a path to walk faithfully, a light to guide us, and a hope that sustains us. Let us, therefore, approach the Word of God with reverence and eagerness, knowing that through it, God Himself instructs, encourages, and equips us for the life He has called us to live.

Beyond Strength and Power: The Triumph of Light in Middle-earth

Beyond Strength and Power: The Triumph of Light in Middle-earth

by | Oct 20, 2024 | Light in Darkness

In watching The Rings of Power on Amazon, I was captivated by a pivotal moment that echoed the deeper, timeless themes J.R.R. Tolkien wove into his legendarium. In the scene, Celebrimbor, who now realizes Annatar is truly the Dark Lord Sauron, tries to protect the Rings of Men by hiding them. He tells Galadriel that he will stay behind to distract Sauron, giving her a chance to escape with the Rings. At this crucial juncture, Celebrimbor, once seduced by darkness, shares profound words that will not only shape Galadriel’s actions but will resonate throughout the future of Middle-earth. His wisdom, rooted in enduring truths, foreshadows the aid that Frodo Baggins, the unlikely hero, will later receive.

In this moment, Celebrimbor speaks a truth that will one day find its way to Frodo. His words are a testament to the belief that it is not through might, but through hope, love, and light, that the greatest darkness can be overcome. These intangible virtues are more powerful than any weapon or strength. Later, this same light, symbolized by the phial Galadriel gifts to Frodo, will illuminate his path when all other lights seem to fade, helping him when his strength alone would have failed.

Eregion is in ruins, reduced to ash as Galadriel laments her failure, apologizing to Celebrimbor for bringing Sauron into their midst. “I am sorry I brought him here. I’m sorry I was not stronger,” she confesses. But Celebrimbor, standing amidst the destruction and death of everything he has known, offers a greater truth. He tells her, “Neither of us were strong enough. There might not be anyone in Middle-earth who is. But perhaps the elves need only remember that it is not strength that overcomes darkness, but light. Armies may rise, hearts may fail, yet still light endures, and is mightier than strength. For in its presence, all darkness must flee.”

This message is more than just an acknowledgment of physical weakness; it is a profound spiritual truth. In Tolkien’s world, much like in the Christian faith, darkness cannot be defeated by brute force or strength alone. Rather, it is the presence of light—symbolic of grace, hope, and divine love—that dispels evil. Galadriel will carry Celebrimbor’s words with her throughout the ages. She will recall them when, thousands of years later, she meets Frodo Baggins, the bearer of the One Ring. When the darkness of Sauron once again threatens to engulf Middle-earth, Galadriel does not give Frodo a weapon to fight with. She gives him light—specifically, the Phial of Galadriel, which contains the light of Eärendil’s star. “May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out,” she says, echoing Celebrimbor’s ancient wisdom.

This scene is a powerful reflection of a core truth in Christianity. The Bible tells us in John 1:5 that “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Just as the light of Eärendil pierces the darkness for Frodo, so too does the light of Christ shine in a world darkened by sin. Darkness, no matter how strong it may seem, cannot stand against the light. In Tolkien’s world, the darkness of Sauron and Morgoth seeks to snuff out all light, just as sin seeks to overwhelm humanity. Yet, like Celebrimbor’s wisdom and the light of the Elves, Christians believe that Christ is the light of the world, and His light is far more powerful than any force of darkness.

Galadriel’s journey is also a reflection of the Christian theme of redemption. Throughout much of Tolkien’s work, Galadriel has struggled with her own pride, her desire for power, and her rejection of the light of Valinor. She, like all of us, has been tempted by darkness. In the same way that humans in Christian teaching are fallen, Galadriel turned away from the light for a time. But in this moment with Celebrimbor, she is reminded that redemption is not found in strength or power but in the light—a light that transcends all darkness. And years later, she will pass this understanding on to Frodo, just as Christ passed on His light to His followers, instructing them to be “the light of the world” (Matthew 5:14).

Ultimately, the theme of light versus darkness that permeates The Lord of the Rings mirrors the biblical narrative of Christ’s triumph over sin and death. In Tolkien’s mythology, Morgoth, the original Dark Lord, sought to extinguish the light of the world. He even tried to destroy the great lamps created by the Valar to bring light to Middle-earth. This echoes the biblical story of Satan, the adversary, who seeks to corrupt and darken God’s creation. Yet, just as Fëanor captured the light of the Two Trees in the Silmarils, preserving it for future generations, so too did God’s light remain present in the world, even after the fall.

Galadriel, who once fled from the light, is eventually able to embrace it. When she meets Frodo, she is no longer the same elf who was consumed by hatred and ambition. She has learned, through the wisdom passed down from Celebrimbor and her own journey, that it is not power or strength that will save Middle-earth—it is the enduring light of hope. In the same way, the Christian message teaches that salvation is not achieved through human effort or might but through the grace of God, who is Himself light.

Celebrimbor’s words, passed down through Galadriel, remind us of a truth that Tolkien infused into his work: darkness cannot overcome light. It is not by strength or power that evil is defeated, but by the enduring, unquenchable light of love and hope. This light, which guided Frodo in his darkest moments, is a reflection of the ultimate light—the light of Christ, which shines in the darkness and will never be extinguished.

Marks of a Victim Mentality

Marks of a Victim Mentality

by | Dec 17, 2023 | Christianity, random thoughts, Uncategorized

Marks of a Victim Mentality

I am writing this blog post because, after some recent conversations, I concluded that it was needed.  Perhaps it will help someone.  

This post relies heavily on Biblical Counseling Keys on Victimization by June Hunt. I have put much of what is said into my own words but I have used several charts etc from that book.

If you have ever read the book of Ruth, you will know that Naomi is facing difficult circumstances, and she only places the blame on God.

Naomi, who is bereaved and barren following the deaths of her two adult sons, is expecting resentment, apprehension, and uncertainty as she considers returning to Israel from Moab. Although she begs her two daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, to seek refuge with their relatives, they remain steadfast in their determination to return to Israel in her company. … “No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord’s hand has turned against me!” (Ruth 1:13).

The two women are additionally compelled to depart by Naomi. Orpah ultimately makes the decision to return to her own family, whereas Ruth steadfastly remains. When Naomi sees how determined Ruth is, she gives up on her argument…

“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.”

(Ruth 1:16)

All individuals who have experienced victimization have been profoundly affected by trauma. Many individuals frequently arrive at erroneous assumptions regarding their own self and the world around them. These erroneous ideas cause injured hearts to adopt flawed responses and habits that conceal their profound pain and construct barriers that hinder closeness with God.

However, the Lord compassionately utilizes setbacks and problematic relationships to expose underlying emotional issues. When God holds each of us responsible, His intention is to dismantle these barriers and restore wounded hearts in order to liberate those who are imprisoned.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.”

(Luke 4:18)

Here is the question we must ask:

What Role Does Cultivating a Victim Mentality Play in Establishing Spiritual Barriers?

Upon the arrival of Naomi and her daughter-in-law, the town of Bethlehem is filled with excitement and commotion.

“… the women exclaimed, ‘Can this be Naomi?’ ”

(Ruth 1:19)

Naomi finds it unbearable to think about the meaning of her name, which denotes sweetness or pleasantness. Mara, who is known to be bitter, appears much more suitable for her situation…

“ ‘Don’t call me Naomi,’ she told them. ‘Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.’ ”

(Ruth 1:20–21)

People who adopt a victim mindset frequently think of themselves as spiritual…

I recently came across this chart, which I find to be helpful in understanding the characteristics of a victim mentality.

 

Prisoners of the Past

Faulty Reactions

Distorted Conclusions

Biblical Truth

• Blaming God

“This is God’s fault.”

“God is not fair!”

“He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he” (Deuteronomy 32:4)

• Harboring anger toward God

“How could God let this happen to me?”

“God doesn’t care about me.”

“The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does” (Psalm 145:17).

• Refusing to trust God

“I can’t depend on God.”

“I don’t believe in God.”

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

• Fearing God

“I’m afraid of God.”

“I want to hide from God.”

“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1)

• Doubting God’s Love

“God certainly doesn’t love me.”

“I don’t deserve God’s love.”

“Great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever” (Psalm 117:2).

If these spiritual barriers are not addressed, they will isolate individuals from the truths found in the Bible, leading to the rapid development of a victim mentality.

( June Hunt, Biblical Counseling Keys on Victimization: Victory Over the Victim Mentality (Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart, 2003), 21–22.)

However, more than just spiritual barriers are built we also see emotional barriers being built.

 

What is the connection between building emotional barriers and developing a victim mentality?

Naomi and Ruth, both widows, are currently without any companionship and are in a state of extreme poverty. They lack any means of sustaining themselves and must depend on God’s provision.

Instead of succumbing to despair and self-indulgence, Ruth conceives a plan which Naomi endorses. She will adhere to the tradition of the impoverished and trail the harvesters in the fields of her fellow Hebrews, collecting the remnants they leave behind. Ruth’s proposal instills hope in Naomi, as it offers the possibility of Ruth gathering sufficient grain to sustain their nourishment and prevent starvation. The final result will be determined by divine intervention.

“Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, ‘Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.’ Naomi said to her, ‘Go ahead, my daughter.’ ”

(Ruth 2:2)

Those who adopt a victim mentality frequently perceive themselves as emotionally fragile. Again, I found a chart that illustrates the different types of victim mentalities people may have from the past

 

Prisoners of the Past

Faulty Reactions

Distorted Conclusions

Biblical Truth

•        Bitterness

“I hate living in this family.”

“I wish I were someone else.”

“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).

•        False Guilt

“This is my fault.”

“I must not tell; I’ll get in trouble.”

“You desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place” (Psalm 51:6).

•        Shame

“Something must be wrong with me.”

“I am a bad person.”

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14).

•        Unforgiveness

“I’ll never forgive them.”

“I wish they were dead.”

“… if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).

•        Fear

“What will happen to me if someone finds out?”

“What if someone hurts me again?”

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).

•        Hopelessness

“Things have never been good.”

“Life will never get better.”

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).

•        Self-centeredness

“I never have fun or enjoy life like others do.”

“It’s hard to think of anything but my unhappiness.”

“The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever …” (Psalm 138:8).

(June Hunt, Biblical Counseling Keys on Victimization: Victory Over the Victim Mentality (Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart, 2003), 21–22.)

When left unchecked, these mental and emotional barriers block the light of God’s Word from reaching the heart and cause a victim mindset to set in.

We erect spiritual barriers, emotional barriers, and now we will see that we build relational barriers as well

 

So what is the correlation between building relational barriers and developing a victim mentality?

Amidst her sorrow and lack of clarity, Naomi is unable to comprehend that God is carefully arranging events for her benefit, and the key to this is her faithful companion, Ruth.

Ruth decides to gather leftover grain in a field owned by Boaz, who is a relative of Elimelech, Naomi’s late husband, in order to feed herself and her mother-in-law. He is a benevolent and noble guy, generously supporting and safeguarding Ruth in her endeavors.

Naomi’s desolate eyes brighten with a flicker of optimism upon learning the location where Ruth is gathering leftover grain.…

“ ‘The Lord bless him!’ Naomi said to her daughter-in-law. ‘He has not stopped showing his kindness to the living and the dead.’ She added, ‘That man is our close relative; he is one of our guardian-redeemers.’ ”

(Ruth 2:20)

 

You guessed it we have another chart.

Frequently, individuals who adopt a victim mentality perceive themselves as being relational.…

Prisoners of the Past

Faulty Reactions

Distorted Conclusions

Biblical Truth

•        Fear

“People are unsafe.”

“I must protect myself.”

“Do not be afraid of anyone, for judgment belongs to God” (Deuteronomy 1:17).

•        Distrust

“People are unreliable.”

“I must guard myself.”

“… there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

•        Anger

“People are perpetrators.”

“I must avenge myself.”

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

•        Insecurity

“People are selfish.”

“I must fend for myself.”

“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need” (Acts 2:44–45).

As survivors of abuse progress in their lives, they often surpass their flawed and juvenile perspectives on life. They discard their past and embark on a quest for satisfaction by pursuing individual objectives, such as devotion to God, matrimony, parenthood, professional advancement, financial prosperity, and other personal achievements.

Regrettably, the coping mechanisms that these individuals learned during their childhood to endure difficult circumstances persist as integral aspects of their personalities. These tendencies can solidify into impenetrable barriers surrounding emotional distress or injury, hindering self-awareness, vulnerability, and genuine closeness in relationships.

Although people who have been victimized as children seek for adult love… Frequently, embarking on a voyage inside their suppressed emotions appears excessively intimidating, and comprehending the concealed deceit feels profoundly intricate.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

(Jeremiah 17:9)

 

Why does cultivating fearfulness result in adopting a victim mentality?

Fear does not manifest spontaneously or independently. There is a factor that predisposes you to be influenced by fear, and there is a factor that activates that dread. The setup took place in the past, whereas the trigger happens in the present. Discovering the reality behind your fear will yield insight into the reasons for your current state of being controlled by fear and trapped in a mindset of victimhood.…

“Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.”

(Psalm 55:5)

I found this extremely helpful.

Past Setups for Fear

•        Monumental Experiences

—        Traumatic event

—        Scary situations

—        Abusive relationships

—        Fearful role models

Gain awareness of the underlying cause of your fear and confront the reality of both past and present circumstances.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

•        Emotional Overload

—        Pent-up, unacknowledged feelings

—        Unrealistic expectations

—        Harsh, stressful environment

—        Demanding, rejecting authority figures

Gain awareness of the underlying cause of your fear and seek God’s assistance in recovering from your emotional wounds.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6–7).

•        Situational Avoidance

—        Refusal to face fears

—        Rejection of chances for change

—        Reinforcement of fears

—        Repetition of negative thought patterns

Recognize the underlying cause of your fear and permit the Lord to assist you in confronting your fears.

“I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13).

•        Dismal Outlook

—        Anticipation of danger and disaster

—        Expectation of frustration and failure

—        Belief of lies

—        Rejection of truth

Identify the underlying cause of your fear and confront yourself with the truth.

(June Hunt, Biblical Counseling Keys on Victimization: Victory Over the Victim Mentality (Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart, 2003), 21–22.)

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

Now let’s ask

What is the relationship between victimization and codependency?

Codependency is a predictable consequence of abuse, just like how day always follows night. They are often closely associated … and with good justification. The reciprocal relationship between these two elements perpetuates and confines individuals within a recurring and agonizing pattern… a pattern that God desires to disrupt in order to facilitate liberation…

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

(Galatians 5:1)

Here is some more helpful information to help you break free from this recurring and agonizing pattern.

Codependency

Question: “How are victimized children set up to become codependent adults?”

Response: Nobody consciously intends to develop emotional addiction. Love cravings frequently arise during childhood due to a lack of emotional nourishment, resulting in empty “love buckets”. These children may develop into adult individuals with a compulsive need for love and intimacy because they…

•        Did not receive enough positive affirmation as children

•        Grew up feeling unloved, insignificant, and insecure

•        Experienced a traumatic separation or a lack of bonding

•        Felt and continue to feel intense sadness and a profound loss at being abandoned

•        Experienced repeated rejection from their parents

•        Felt and continue to feel extreme fear, helplessness, and emptiness

Children who lack emotional fulfillment develop an imaginary belief in a rescuer who will alleviate their anxiety and ultimately provide them with a sense of completeness. As adults, they continue to exhibit emotionally dependent behavior reminiscent of “children” who …

•        Believe that being loved by someone—anyone—is the solution to their emptiness

•        Enter relationships believing the other person cannot take care of themselves

•        Assign too much value and power to the other person in a relationship

•        Have tremendously unrealistic expectations of the other person

•        Try to “stick like glue” to the other person in order to feel connected

•        Live in fear that those who truly love them will ultimately leave them

The predicament of an individual addicted to love may appear insurmountable if not for the divine intervention of the Lord, who serves as the sole genuine deliverer, offering them boundless and everlasting affection. The Bible provides this guarantee …

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

(Jeremiah 31:3)

Codependent Relationships

Question: “What draws people into destructive, codependent relationships?”

Response: Individuals who experience emotional dependency during childhood and fail to acquire the essential abilities for establishing mature, well-functioning relationships do not develop a healthy sense of interdependence.

—        They have difficulty speaking the truth, asking for what they want, and setting boundaries.

—     They become codependent adults who are addicted to unhealthy relationships because they never learned anything different.

—     They are desperately in need of finishing what they began in infancy—to grow up emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually so they can mature relationally!

The Bible employs the analogy of newborns consuming milk instead of solid food to describe those who are not yet fully formed.

“Though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.”

(Hebrews 5:12–13)

So now we ask

What is the underlying cause of a victim mentality?

Naomi, who previously experienced a lack of enthusiasm for life, now perceives a glimmer of optimism in the future.

According to tradition, the closest relative has the initial chance to purchase or “redeem” the property of a deceased individual. Naomi intends to sell a field that was owned by Elimelech. Boaz is considering purchasing the field, however, there is a closer relative who has the first right to acquire the property.

The man’s curiosity wanes upon learning that the legal deal entails obtaining ownership of the widow Ruth. Evidently, the property had been inherited by Ruth’s deceased husband, Mahlon, following his father’s demise. It is necessary “… to maintain the name of the dead with his property” (Ruth 4:5).

The kinsman rejects the full proposal, and Boaz acquires the land and marries Ruth. Naomi’s bitterness is alleviated as she welcomes the birth of her son, Obed.The user’s text is straightforward and precise.

“The women said to Naomi: ‘Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.’ ”

(Ruth 4:14–15)

Individuals who continue to be confined by a victim mentality do so as a result of a belief system that perpetuates their perception of being devoid of agency to effect change. Consequently, individuals sometimes exhibit a reluctance to assume accountability for their own process of healing and development.

•        Wrong Belief:

“During my upbringing, I lacked the ability to alter the course of my life, and presently, I remain devoid of the capability to make any significant changes.” The events that have occurred in my life have shaped my identity, and I believe that I am not entitled to anything superior. Furthermore, I lack the necessary competence and proficiency compared to others, and the apprehension of being exposed as the unsuccessful individual I am inundates me.

Right Belief:

As a child of God, I possess the indwelling of Christ, endowing me with His transformative power. I relinquish my apprehension about failure and assume the duty to surmount my previous experiences, for I trust in the unwavering nature of God. He will accomplish the task! I have the ability to control and restrain all of my thoughts and initiate a systematic process of altering my mindset in order to achieve emotional, interpersonal, and spiritual well-being. I am resolute to …”

“… demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and … take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I know I can do this because …

“His divine power has given [me] everything [I] need for a godly life through [my] knowledge of him who called [me] by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3).

 

Ultimately, we have to come to the conclusion that we must

Face Our Predicament

Pay careful attention to what I am about to write, as it holds the key to overcoming.

• Understanding that God allowed your abuse, but did not cause or approve of it, is of utmost importance! God harbors an intense hatred towards wickedness and violence and will eventually eradicate all forms of evil and malevolent actions. He will deliver an everlasting verdict upon those who persist in their wicked behavior.…

“I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless.”

(Isaiah 13:11)

• Yes, God allowed it, but…

—        Realize that human will must always be separated from God’s will.

— It is important to differentiate between permitting sin and actively producing or endorsing sinful behavior.

— Understand that God will pass judgment on sin and individuals who commit it, according to His own timing and methods.

— It is important to remember that God did not intervene to save His Son from the hands of wicked individuals and their wicked actions. Instead, He permitted Him to endure a profoundly agonizing suffering of victimization and death.

— Take heart in the knowledge that, even if God allows evil, He has the desire and ability to save both those who harmed others and those who have been harmed by others. He want to rejuvenate them and utilize them to fulfill His divine objectives.

Reckon that life is nothing more than a vapor. Nevertheless, God intends to transform you into the exact likeness of His cherished Son, Jesus Christ, because He loves you as His own child.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.… For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.…”

(Romans 8:37–39, 29)

It is natural to question or distrust things that do not align with our perceptions or that we do not comprehend.

— It is normal to be perplexed when something unexplainable happens. Hence, when one becomes a victim, it is instinctive to question the divine, “Why?”

—        Even righteous Job questioned God.… “Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?” (Job 3:11).

•        In periods of uncertainty …—        Remember that God has an infallible plan for your life that cannot be hindered by anything or anyone.…

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.… For the Lord Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him? His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back?” (Job 42:2; Isaiah 14:27).

— Remember that God is omniscient and is always preeminent in guiding your path. He consistently supports you with His hand.

“You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.… Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?… If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast” (Psalm 139:5, 7, 9–10).

— Remember that God’s methods are different from ours and His thoughts are far superior, making it impossible for us to predict His intentions or understand His approach.

“How great are your works, Lord, how profound your thoughts!… ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’ ” (Psalm 92:5; Isaiah 55:8–9).

—        Remember that God loves you intensely and that He will produce positive outcomes from all the events that occur in your life, including the malicious actions carried out by wicked individuals.…

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

—        Reaffirm the fact that God possesses unlimited power, complete knowledge, constant presence, absolute righteousness, and that He has a valid purpose for every event He permits in your life.…

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2–4).

— Remember that you are a malleable substance under the control of God, particles shaped into a human being by your divine Creator, who intricately assembled you in your mother’s womb and documented every single day of your existence in His record even before they occurred.…

“Remember that you molded me like clay. Will you now turn me to dust again?… For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.… all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Job 10:9; Psalm 139:13, 16).

Now Comes the difficult part

Ways to Pardon Your Perpetrator

Have you ever observed the presence of the word “give” within the term “forgiveness”? By opting to forgive, you bestow upon someone a valuable present… The gift of liberation from the obligation to bear the consequences of offending you… the gift of absolving the indebtedness owing to you! To effectively bestow this challenging “gift,” it may be necessary to progress through four distinct phases of forgiveness. However, it is important to acknowledge that by doing so, you are also bestowing onto yourself the invaluable present of “living without harboring resentments.” Indeed, that represents genuine liberty. Consequently, the Bible asserts …

“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.”

(Leviticus 19:18)

The 4 Stages of Forgiveness

#1        Face the Offense.

Forgiveness is the only medicine that can soothe a wound that is deep, personal, unfair, and wounded. Initially, it is imperative to confront the reality of the actual actions that have taken place, without impeding genuine recovery by justifying or fixating on erroneous thoughts.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

(Ephesians 4:32)

• Avoid downplaying the offense by rationalizing: “Regardless of how poorly he treats me, it is acceptable.”

TRUTH: Poor treatment is unacceptable. There is just no justification for any form of mistreatment under any circumstances.The user’s text is straightforward and precise.

“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them” (Ephesians 5:11).

• Resist the urge to rationalize the offender’s actions by saying that “he doesn’t mean to hurt me.Since he is a member of my family, I ought not to feel apprehensive or distressed in his presence.

TRUTH: Regardless of the offender’s age or our relationship with them, it is imperative that we label wrongdoing as “sin.” We must confront the reality rather than attempting to alter it. In order to grant forgiveness, it is necessary for there to exist an individual who is responsible for a wrongdoing.The user’s text is straightforward and precise.

“Whoever says to the guilty, ‘You are innocent,’ will be cursed by peoples …” (Proverbs 24:24).

• Avoid the assumption that prompt forgiveness equates to complete forgiveness by believing: “Upon the occurrence of that dreadful ordeal, I expeditiously and entirely pardoned him.” “That is the instruction I have received!”

TRUTH: Numerous individuals with good intentions experience feelings of guilt when they fail to provide prompt forgiveness. Consequently, they exhibit a rapid propensity for forgiveness. However, they have not yet experienced the complete consequences of the offense nor properly mourned the true events. Sin’s profound consequences are not immediately experienced. Instead, its influence is experienced at various degrees across a duration of time.

Consequently, forgiveness must be offered at each of these levels. The act of quickly forgiving someone for profound hurts may appear satisfactory, but it does not constitute “complete forgiveness” until it has been offered at every level of influence. Prior to granting full forgiveness, it is necessary to confront the facts regarding the severity of the transgression and its lasting repercussions on oneself.The user’s text is straightforward and precise.

“You [God] desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.”

(Psalm 51:6)

#2        Feel the Offense.

Typically, we do not harbor hatred against strangers or acquaintances; rather, we just experience rage towards strangers. According to Lewis Smedes, the destruction of anything that was formed by our dedication and intimacy results in the destruction of something valuable. Deep, unjust suffering may elicit genuine emotions of indignation or even hatred. The deep-seated animosity towards a wrongdoer must be acknowledged and addressed from the depths of our own selves. Nevertheless, not every animosity is unjustifiable. God harbors a strong hatred towards evil.

“But you, Sovereign Lord, help me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.”

(Psalm 109:21–22)

•        Avoid suppressing your pain by rationalizing: “I don’t hold her responsible for constantly criticizing me… She is experiencing significant pressure, and it does not negatively affect me.

TRUTH: Experiencing mistreatment from a person you have strong affection for can be quite distressing. Experiencing pain is a prerequisite for the process of healing.

“The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

• Avoid harboring false guilt by believing that you should feel bad about what was done to you. “I’m not supposed to be hateful.”

TRUTH: Sin offends God. A hatred of sin is something you are capable of as well. Hatred of the sin is expected, but not of the sinner…

“To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech” (Proverbs 8:13).

#3        Forgive the Offender.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.Alexander Pope’s well-known statement serves as a celestial reminder to all of us. But the real world operates more along the lines of “Mistakes are human, but blaming others is more human!” Isn’t it easier to place blame than to provide forgiveness? However, God asks us to extend forgiveness. And when you do forgive, it becomes authentic and brings you closer to God, transforming your life into that of Christ, the divine.

“You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”

(2 Corinthians 3:3)

• Create a list of all the offenses committed by your offender.

• At this moment, picture yourself with a hook affixed to your collarbone. And picture all of the suffering brought on by the wrong that was done to you, attached to the hook.

•        Consider whether you genuinely desire to bear the burden of that pain indefinitely. It is desirable for you to relinquish the pain from your past and entrust it to the Lord.

• After that, put your offender on God’s hook and remove them from your emotional hook. Your wrongdoer will be dealt with by the Lord in His own time and manner. God declares…

“Bear with each other and forgive one another. if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

(Colossians 3:13)

Arguement: “I am unable to forgive and forget.” “I keep picturing myself getting hurt.”

Answer: A case of “holy amnesia” does not occur when an individual elects to forgive. However, once you have confronted the offender and confronted the suffering, refrain from replaying the agony of the past in your mind. You should forget your suffering. Avoid fixating on your pain.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past” (Isaiah 43:18).

#4        Find Oneness.

Relationships that are characterized by animosity inevitably come to an end, while ones that are characterized by forgiveness ultimately succeed. Nevertheless, achieving reconciliation in a relationship, which involves restoring unity, depends on several crucial criteria. The foremost factor is that the wrongdoer must openly own their wrongdoing, feel genuine remorse, and exhibit tangible evidence of a transformed lifestyle. If these criteria are fulfilled, namely, if both parties demonstrate a steadfast dedication to adhering to the teachings of Christ and maintaining integrity in their relationship, there exists a genuine prospect for the restoration of unity and harmony between them.

The Bible says …

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.”

(Philippians 2:1–2)

Forgiving the Offender and the Offense

Question: “Must I extend forgiveness even in cases of grave wrongdoing?”

Answer: You are being requested to grant forgiveness to both the wrongdoer and the wrongdoing. Choosing an alternative course of action would include retaining both elements and experiencing the burden they impose.

“If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

(Matthew 6:14)

Remaining a Victim

Question: “Does the act of forgiving necessitate that I must persist in being a victim?”

Answer: Negative. Granting forgiveness to others liberates you from the unfounded guilt that is confining you.

“If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

(Matthew 6:15)

God Is with Us When We Suffer

Question: “Where was God when my abuse was occurring?”

Answer: Two of the attributes of God: omniscience (all-knowing) and omnipresence (being present everywhere). Though God never intends evil, He is present with us when we suffer. And, while He does not promise to take away suffering in this sinful life, He does promise to take it away in the life to come.…

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

(Revelation 21:4)

God Will Punish the Offender

Question: “Why doesn’t God punish the offender?”

Answer: He will punish the evil and exalt the innocent at His appointed time and in His appointed manner….

“… the power of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous.”

(Psalm 37:17)

Trust God’s Love

Question: “How could a loving God allow this?”

Answer: Just as He does with His own Son, Jesus, the suffering that our heavenly Father permits serves a purpose and significance. Moreover, we can place our trust in the heart of God even when we fail to comprehend His methods. His love is certain and steadfast.…

“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.”

(1 Peter 2:21)

Releasing Bitterness When the Offender Is Dead

Question: “How can I let go of my bitterness toward my victimizer, who is now deceased?” is the question.

Even though you are unable to face your victimizer face-to-face, you can still indirectly confront them by speaking as though they were in front of you and saying what you would want or need to say.

* Think about the “chair technique.” Picture the individual in question sitting in a chair in front of you. Speak to them like you would if you were genuinely sat across a table from each other. Talk about how you feel about what was done to you and how those events have affected your life. After that, extend your forgiveness and clarify that you have moved the offending party onto God’s emotional hook.

• Write a letter to your victim, detailing every unpleasant memory. Read it over the person’s grave or in a place where you can openly speak to them as if you were in their presence. Then, at the end, choose to forgive by releasing your victimizer into God’s hands.

• Compile an inventory of both traumatic and joyful recollections. Return to the starting point and annotate each memory with the word “past” once the list is complete. Recognize and consent to the fact that the past has passed. As an act of volition, surrender the individual and all the anguish to God . Transfer the individual and their suffering from your personal emotional hook to God’s

Simply because your victimizer has passed away does not preclude you from forgiving and preventing resentment from developing in your heart and mind. The Bible declares…

“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

(Hebrews 12:15)

 

Pastors Struggle With Mental Health Too

Pastors Struggle With Mental Health Too

by | Oct 2, 2023 | Christianity, Church, Mental Health, pastor

Pastors Struggle With Mental Health Too

 

September was national suicide prevention month.  There is a reason that I am drawing attention to this; more on that in a moment.

 

This post has been a while in the making.  I have thought about what to say and even how to say it for months.  I know the risk that comes with a post like this. While pastoring, I would often hear people say they would never share some of the things that I have been willing to share openly.  I guess in my life, I have never been one to hide things or pretend to be someone I am not.  I often think when reading some of the Apostle Paul’s letters about how vulnerable and open he was to anyone who would read what he had written. I believe that to share what I want to share, I have to also share about the past.  I have no desire to go over in detail every little thing about my past, but I do have a desire to share some things that perhaps will help others or give clarity to others.

 

I learned how to hide my emotions as a young child, being the youngest out of four boys by a pretty good margin. I learned not to cry, or at least not to allow others to see me cry.  Therefore, hiding my emotions became a coping mechanism. I won’t say that my childhood was terrible, but it had its struggles.  My father was an alcoholic who would get drunk and be abusive, never towards me but towards others. Eventually, my mother divorced him. We never had money; my mother was a single mom doing the best she could to support us.  I had an incident where a family member molested me a single time. I started to steal from my family and others so that I could ditch school and do what I wanted. I learned early to tap into my emotions and make every emotion anger. When my mother finally rremarried,my life straightened oout,but not my emotions. Anger was still the emotion that ruled my life.  Add that to the fact that I could not stand if I felt something was an iinjustice,and you had a bad combination.

 

I remember I was thrown in jail because I got caught breaking into a house, and the judge let me off because my mom was marrying my stepfather. We moved to Missouri, and one of the first things that happened was a bigger kid was picking on a smaller kid, and so I felt the need to fight him. Welcome to Missouri in the sixth grade.  Everything was taken to the extreme in my life. Emotions were constantly bottled up and turned into anger. When my stepdad kicked be around the brush pile because I was not working hard enough, it turned into anger, and I decided I would never be called lazy again.  This would be repeated throughout my life.  I would rebel against common thought or authority, which would lead to something negative, which would lead to me justifying my anger.

 

I was in high school when I heard a sermon on “gentle Jesus.” The pastor said that if we were struggling with anger, we could give it to gentle Jesus, and he called us to be gentle like Jesus.  I desired to be gentle. I thought I had surrendered my anger to Jesus to become more gentle, but I only learned to hide it better.  My anger did not come out physically, but it came out in other ways.  I could use my mind and tongue to dice you up very quickly. Nevertheless, I felt God calling me into ministry even though I did not know Christ as my savior.

 

I became a student pastor at 19 years old I had the opportunity to watch God do amazing things in my ministry. I could recall story after story of watching the Lord get a hold of teenagers lives and seeing their lives changed by the gospel.  My life was also changed because, as a student pastor, I believe for the first time the gospel made sense to me and I gave my life to Christ. When I started ministry, I was also attending Bible College at Hannibal LaGrange University. As a young student pastor I did not know much and was an arrogant punk, but I can remember clearly one time someone went up to a person I had been witnessing to and proceeded to speak poorly about me.  This man came and told me this and said he would never step foot in a church that treated one of their pastors that way. Early on I saw how ugly ministry could be. I never had the desire to go to seminary, so I knew that when I graduated, my desire would be to try to go straight into ministry. The Lord saw fit to bless me with that.  My first exposure to full-time ministry was not terrible. I can remember when interviewing sitting down and picking out things for a modular home we were told was going to be built for us, but it never actually but it was not without major issues either.

 

I can remember sitting down and picking out things for a modular home we were told was going to be built for us. Needless to say we were surprised when we showed up and had to try to find a place.  We were at the church for less than a year when the pastor resigned. From there, we had to navigate the challenges of finding a new pastor to lead our church, and this took roughly 3 years.  My early years in ministry, I was putting in crazy hours between coaching basketball or volleyball, teaching Bible at the Christian school, and being the student pastor. There were weeks I had put in over 80 hours.  This eventually took its toll on my body and landed me in the hospital.  In our time in PA we saw the lord bless in many ways we had kids from all backgrounds in our student ministry, and we were reaching kids that I am sure many thought were never possible to reach.  However, I let my guard down, and the enemy used the opportunity to sift me. During a long-drawn-out process, I had met with the elders of our church numerous times and was asked to read a statement that really was not entirely forthright nor completely true but I agreed to it in order to “keep the peace”. This was supposed to end in giving me a 5 week sabbatical.  However, in the middle of a business meeting where I read my statement and was supposed to be given a sabbatical, an untrue accusation was made against me from the stage that I knew I would not be able to recover from.  It became clear that the only way forward was to resign. I had people that I thought were my friends walk into elders meetings and say things about me that were not only untrue but cruel.  I had letters read about me that were hit pieces that were untrue and cruel.  I was accused of many things from making decisions that were only about drawing attention to myself (because I purchased items with money I made outside of ministry) to the one that stung the most: I didn’t love my own child.  I would endure comments that were meant to hurt and not build up.

 

In order to save face, I was given a choice: either resign and not have any pay or insurance for my pregnant wife, who was due in a few weeks, or let them fire me and keep my insurance and get paid.  I trusted in the Lrod, held my ground, and made it clear that I would be resigning.  Again, to save face, the announcement was made that they “asked for my resignation”. This was my first taste of spiritual manipulation and abuse. For the first time, I felt the sting of those that I thought loved me, and it felt awful.  I did not know what to do with these feelings, so I did what I always did: I bottled them up and said I “gave them to the Lord”, and secretly they became anger.

 

I had nowhere to go, no job, and did not know what to do. I loved in with my mother and our two children.  For 3 years, I heard people doubt my call to the ministry, people telling me to just quit, others shocked. I had not quit, but I was convinced God had something in store.

 

During this time, I got involved in our church, started helping in the student ministry, and once again saw the Lord bless.  I watched students confess sin to one another without prompting and witnessed them love one another in profound ways.  One night I delivered a message and watched as kids again confessed sin and served one another for hours. God was doing work. I was not the student pastor; I was the intern student pastor, but had the joy of watching the Lord work.  Once again, it would all come to an abrupt end.  Our lead pastor left and came to illinis, our student pastor that we had eventually hired left and came to Illinois; and when it was time to hire a new lead pastor, it was clear I would not have the opportunity to be the student pastor.  (I do not hold this against anyone; these were not my decisions to make.) I knew the Lord would lead, as he always had.

 

Sure enough, he did. I received a call from a church in Illinois asking if I would be interested in being their student pastor.  After interviewing and meeting the church, I was brought in as their student pastor. I and my family have never been loved on like this church loved on us.  They showed me so much grace; they consistently sought ways they could help.  We were so blessed. Again, I watched God do some really amazing things in the lives of students and even adults.  But again, it would not last.  I began to receive calls from a church in central Illinois.  I was asked to submit my resume numerous times, and eventually I reluctantly did so.

 

I knew the Lord was leading, but I did not want to go.  I did my homework, which made me not want to go even more. I knew it was going to be hard ministry, and I struggled to find any positive reason to pack up my family and move them.  I can still recall saying these words: “if you think I am going to pack up my family and leave a church that loves us greatly to come to a church that will not love us then I do not want to come.” Needless to say, the vote was overwhelming, and I ended up here. However, during that time, I had asked someone in leadership at my former church to keep it quiet until I could make the announcement, and I was very hurt when I found out they had already told the personnel committee. What did I do? Once again, I bottled it up.

 

From the beginning, I began to pray that God would send me the help I needed to get the job done.  Before I even came to the church, I was pulled aside by a church member and told “You better watch those deacons; they run the church”. One of my first battles was when I was shown a pastoral agreement after I had already agreed to come.  The agreement was repeatedly revised because I would not sign it.  Eventually we got to the point where I stated something to the effect that I would sign it but that I would not be held to it nor should they expect to hold me to every part of it.  I was here a week when someone walked into my office proud of a scathng letter they had sent to the Chamber of Commerce that only made our church ridiculous.   I was not even the pastor a few months ago when I had to call someone into my office for gossip about their pastor in the hallway.  I endured endless jabs that called into question my credibility, my faithfulness, and my ability as a pastor, over and over again, things would be said and played off as jokes. Countless times gossip would be heard directly or get back to me to the point where I had to ask my secretary to just start telling people she was going to share everything people were saying with the pastor. However, even in all of this, the Lord was faithful; he did send me encouragers. Though we were not growing by huge numbers, we did add members year after year and some of them became my strongest encouragers.  It finally got to the point where others began to notice that something was wrong.

 

People would come to me about comments that were being made that were not biblical or encouraging; sometimes they would ask me questions that showed me they were searching the scriptures, like “Why don’t we have elders”, I had comments made from people that they had “learned more from me than any other pastor they have had I was greatly encouraged when I knew the people were searching the Scriptures. Through the years I got to see people come to faith in Christ, and I got to baptize people.  I got to see amazing things, and unfortunately, I had to endure the attacks of the enemy.  How did I handle this? I bottled it up.  When people would ask, “Why don’t you defend yourself?” I always said the Lord is my defender.  I would say that if I am faithful to preach His word, he will take care of the rest.  He always did and that was easy to say but hard to live.  As attacks were ramped up and as I began to catch people either talking about me, or my family, things began to get back to me that were outright lies and as a small minority began to plot for ways to get rid of me I began to reach my breaking point.

 

I called a meeting to address some of the issues and to call out sin.  That meeting did not go well.  I then watched a meeting get called without me being present, and I received a call from one of my deacons that he was resigning and leaving the church. This wasn’t because of me. I was told point blank, “Pastor, they are going to fire you and they will not stop until they do.” I was crushed. I sat in another meeting and watched someone say they had done nothing wrong and had nothing to repent of and I walked out of the meeting with another deacon, who then walked back in and resigned. I received emails and letters filled with false accusations and unfounded statements.  Telling me that I was in a dark place of my own making.  Accusations that I wanted elders so I could be in control when it was clear I wanted elders so I was no longer in control I experienced gas lighting for the first time in my life and I watched as one of our church members sat out front and gossiped about their pastor and how sometimes the best thing for the church is if they get rid of their pastor and that the church would grow if they only got rid of him.  Despite my repeated warnings that people would leave, they pushed forward.  I could write pages on pages of everything; these things only touch the surface to get me to the point of pastors struggling with mental health.

 

When I knew there was no way forward and I had to resign, the only thoughts in my head were, “you are a failure. I watched as one of my close friends was called a liar in the middle of a business meeting. I could not help but think, is this what these people have learned after 10 years of your teaching? Over and over again, like a beating drum, “you are a failure; you are failure as a pastor, a failure as a husband, a failure as father. You moved your family here for what? To be abused for 10 years, then quit.”  I was overcome with darkness. The harder I tried to escape, it seemed, the worse it got. To add to it my close friend was dead.  I felt alone and abandoned. Even now, I ask myself, where are all those people who called you friends? No one calls; no one says anything; I am just invisible. You see Pastors are not supposed to think like this. They are not allowed to think like this and they for sure can’t admit it. Pastors are not allowed to have depression or bad thoughts. I know the risk of writing this I know someone is going to tell me “no one will ever hire you to be a pastor now”, I realize I probably have said some hard things and even some things that no one knew, but if I help one pastor or one person, is helped I don’t care.

 

Listen carefully. I allowed the opinions of men to dictate my worth.  I allowed the opinion of those few people who did not even know their scripture anyway to send me to a dark place. I allowed their comments, their feelings, their words, and their hatred to cause me to not want to take another breath. I started experiencing dissociative behavior, and the hardest day for me as a husband and father was the day I had to go home and ask my wife to hide my gun from me. Why? Because I no longer wanted to live.  I had never struggled with depression before. I was good at hiding those emotions, bottling them up and turning them to anger. However, in those moments, my will to die was outweighing my will to live.  I began to experience things that I never experienced before.  Hours would go by and I had no clue what I had done or accomplished. I had moments where I would be frozen in a thought and be unaware of my surroundings, and if I did not have a counselor that pushed me to be honest, who knows what would have happened?

 

You see, I know it’s not just pastors that play this game, but pastors bottle things up.  No one knows their struggle, their pains, their heartaches.  They are afraid that if they share those things, they will lose their job. If they confess their sin, they will no longer be pastoring. So they hide it.  They put a smile on their faces, and they carry on. The problem is that they carry on until it’s to late, and there is nothing to carry on. They get to the point where they can no longer go on and they end their life. Sucidal thoughts are real and they are real dangerous.  Thoughts of wanting to end it all should not be taken lightly.  My counselor asked me “how far is to far, how do you know when you have reached the limit?” Unfortunately, we don’t know until it’s to late. That is why there are stories all the time of pastors taking their lives.  Pastors struggle with mental health too. I write this so we would wake up. I write this so that we would stop and think about how we treat our pastors, that we would allow them the freedom to be who they are, and that instead of saying we would be there for them, we would actually be there for them.  I write this so that maybe just maybe one pastor would read it or one person would read it and understand that there is a way out of the darkness, that you do not have to remain there, and that your worth is not determined by the parishioners in your church, who can be cruel, but by the Lord, who sent His own son to die for you.

 

Surrender To His Divine Placement

Surrender To His Divine Placement

by | Dec 12, 2022 | Christianity, Church, pastor

A few years ago I was preaching through 1 Corinthians and one of my messages was titled “The Call to remain where planted”. If I am honest the sermon has been on my mind daily over the last few weeks, in fact, I have not been able to get it off my mind. We all have a plan for our lives, but sometimes it may not be God’s plan for us. It can be challenging to let go of what we’ve mapped out and accept His divine placement. Surrendering to His divine placement is an essential part of our spiritual journey, as it allows us to experience life in more meaningful ways and helps us grow closer to God.

In that message I talked about remaining where God has called you. God, in his infinite wisdom, has set you up in your current social circle and even in your current position. Now, this is not arguing that a person who was a prostitute or an adulterer, or a porn addict before conversion should continue in those roles afterward. The concept that sin is being tolerated or treated lightly in these verses is ludicrous, especially in light of Christ’s remarks to the adulterous woman at the well: “go and sin no more.”

I think what is difficult is when we go through a difficult circumstance in our life especially after we have felt God leading us to a certain place to understand that our place in this world is not just some matter of chance but rather it has been assigned to us by the Lord. In fact, Paul uses this word over and over again it is the word “called” and 1 Corinthians 7:17 he uses it like this “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.” (1 Corinthians 7:17 ESV). The word called is not meaning like a vocation but rather this word calling is the Holy Spirit’s calling on the life of a person to enter into fellowship with Christ. So what Paul is saying here as plainly as I can tell is this “stay in the state you were in when you were converted when you were drawn by God remain in THAT spot. Because that is assigned to you by God. Remain where you are because God in his sovereignty has placed you there socially so stay there. I think on the ministry of Jesus and all of the times that Christ had people stay it is this same principle remember when he healed a demon-possessed man in Mark 5 the man wanted to go with Jesus and Jesus told him to stay back. The idea is that you are called at a particular time in your life in a particular culture and you have been placed there by God to uniquely prepare you for the ministry God has for you.

Now here is the thing I don’t like that. I am sure often you don’t like it either. We don’t like to think that God has planned the things that have come into our lives all for his purpose. We don’t like to think that God has planned things our before the foundations of the world because we want to think that we are somehow in control of everything that goes on. But the truth is that nothing comes into your life that has not first crossed the desk of the ruler of this universe. Now we can say well I don’t like that and that is fine God does not need you to like it but I want you to know I take great comfort in it.

Do you know why? Because it means that God is not taken by surprise with anything that comes into my life. God is not wringing his hands and saying “well I was going to bless Josh but I can’t now because he has ruined it.” It does not work that way. You say well how do you know? Well let me tell you how I know because His word is clear let’s read it Romans 8:28-38

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, (Romans 8:28–38 ESV)

Listen God has planned all things including all things surrounding the circumstances of my salvation and your salvation it does not happen by chance but by God’s plan. God is in control and there is never a time when he is not. That is why I love these words to Victory in Jesus “He sought me and He bought me” I did not seek him he sought me no man seeks him. I was dead in my sin and he breathed new life in me. I was at the bottom of the Ocean unable to take a breath and Jesus dove to the bottom and rescued this dead man. That is the very picture of Lazarus. It is a picture of salvation Lazarus was a dead man there was no mistaking it he was dead, dead and Jesus showed up and called dead Lazarus to life and Lazarus had no choice but to come forth out of the grave. That is us. We are dead, dead and when he calls our name we have no choice but to come forth.

We get confused because we want the Christian life to be a social revolution but it is a spiritual regeneration. Jesus had plenty of opportunity to change where people were socially he spoke with soldiers and poor people. rich people, slaves, taxpayers, and people from all walks of life and he could have said you need to leave this life but he didn’t. Christianity is not about social reform, I am not saying it does not have an effect on society as it most certainly does. However, a relationship with Christ can occur in any society and is not dependent on our social standing. You can be a man, woman, married, single, divorced, widowed, a Jew, a Gentile, a free person, a slave, a democrat, a republican, a libertarian, whatever. You can be in a democracy, an anarchy, or a dictatorship, you can be in China, Japan, Cuba, Iran, or America it does not matter you can be a Christian because it is not societal dependent it is internal. You should be the best Christian that you can be wherever you are no matter your social standing. Christianity is not about revolutionizing society. Now let me be clear as Christians we are to be active in society. We know how we are to treat the poor, the unborn, the widows, the hungry, the naked, and the wounded. As Christians, we have a social responsibility to always seek justice in society, and to speak the truth of God against injustice, and unrighteousness. However, society will never be transformed by a social gospel or social institution but only by the proclamation of the gospel that will lead to changed lives.

What Paul is getting at in 1 Corinthians 7 is that who we are is nothing, and God’s commands are everything, so don’t change anything. Stay where you are planted and be obedient to him until he moves you. Paul is showing that what matters the most is obedience to God’s commands and they are so much more important than the cultural distinctives. In other words, do not make a big stinking deal about the culture, but instead, make a big deal about obedience. Do not run around wringing your hands about the cultural distinctives thinking you must conform to them because they are of little importance to God but what is important is your obedience. What matters the most is the reality behind the ritual. Here is the danger we find ourselves in sometimes we are more committed to the outward appearance than we are to the inward reality. Then we end up having this false standard of spirituality, saying well really spiritual people will do such and such and we base it on what is external as opposed to really spiritual people will follow Christ and simply be obedient to him, therefore, experiencing the joy of Christ and therefore glorifying the father. Because regardless of what we think, it is always about him.

Our social standing or where we are even located is so inconsequential to God. When we follow Christ all of the externals are stripped away it does not matter your social standing it does not matter whether you are a doctor, a lawyer, or a sanitation worker none of it matters. It does not matter whether you are white, black, brown, red, purple etc, none of that matters, there are no class distinctions in Christ. What matter is that we all who are truly followers of Christ are slaves to Christ. You are now a part of the household of Christ. And this is why we can look at our social standing and say never mind it. We are under the Lordship of Christ he is our master we are his slaves and his Lordship over us is all that matters and it relativizes all other social statuses. How is it possible that everything comes into submission to Christ? How is it possible that we are free, but yet we are slaves of Christ?

Because we were bought with the blood of Christ therefore we shall not be slaves to men. The focus is not on us being bought but on the price that we are bought with. to bring us into Christ’s possession. We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ that was the price that was paid for us. We are redeemed He paid for you with His life. His life was given for your life. Now you are God’s special possession, redeemed from slavery and bondage of sin. Now as his special possession what matters most is staying close to him and bringing him glory so we don’t go around saying poor me, or I am not high society or I am too low on the totem no! Stay close to God and be in His presence giving him glory. Because the temptation is to seek to please men.

How often do we become men-pleasers instead of God Pleasers? How often do we not say something, not do something, or how often do we say or do something only because we know it will please men and not because it will please God. How often do we stop and think in our lives if what we are about to say or do will glorify God or will it glorify someone else? Why would we seek the esteem of men or the praise of men by conforming to what they value the approval of God is your goal and not the esteem of men then you will seek to glorify him no matter the circumstance and no matter where he has placed you. You will not be consumed by your circumstances because you will understand there is a difference between joy and happiness and that happiness is fleeting and circumstantial but Joy is not and can come only when we are satisfied in him and he then is Glorified in us. Because it is in those moments that we realize it is not about us. That we were bought and our obedience to him is what matters.

Sometimes I find myself questioning God. I say things like this “God why did you bring me here to waste eight years of my life? Did I really make any difference? I have nothing to show for coming here. I am lonely. Am I done? Is there ministry for me anymore?” these are just a few things that cross my mind on a consistent basis. All of those things have the same thing in common. They focus on my circumstance and not God. I can live for God no matter where I am at, I can serve him as long as he gives me the opportunity. I do not need my circumstances to change I need to draw close to him. Someone else’s circumstances will always be better or even worse. There will always be a pastor that has not had to walk through what I had to walk through and there will be those who have walked through far worse. I can either glorify God or not no matter my circumstance and so can you. You see our issue is not our circumstances our issue is with God.

However, what is also so great about surrendering to his divine placement is that it is not always absolute. By that I mean this god does sometimes change our circumstances. Tax collectors became preachers, fishermen became missionaries, and slaves have been set free. The Corinthians were questioning what they needed to leave behind when coming to Christ and Paul is responding with you do not need to abandon your job or where you are socially he is showing that God is concerned with being satisfied in him. We need to be satisfied in Christ not in social standing.

One of the hardest things for us to do at times is to trust in God’s sovereignty. We often wonder if we are where we are supposed to be but as long as you are there then it is where you are supposed to be. I am not talking of sin but I am speaking of Job, social standing, living place, etc. You are not where you are by accident the Lord directs your steps, his purposes will be established. His purpose will not be thwarted. You are where you are by God’s divine appointment and our job is to be satisfied in Him until he moves us. May we surrender to his divine placement.

 

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