In His Providence the Lord Gives and he takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord
My struggles have been deep as of late. I am thankful they have not turned too dark but have been genuine and often sad. I have learned over this last year that one can hold two emotions simultaneously, so you can be sad yet have joy, and it is ok.
In his providence, God led us to leave Marion, Illinois, and move to Washington, Illinois. In his providence, he allowed me to pastor a church only to later take it away. In his providence, he brought some incredible men into my life only to take them away. I do not have to understand; I only know he gives and he takes away. The question is will I bless his name?
I don't know why I have struggled so hard in these last few weeks focussing on all I have lost. Friends who are gone, a ministry left in shambles, feelings of being abandoned, wondering if I really have any friends (locally anyway), longing for something more in my relationships with others than what I have, the hurt is real. Still, the Lord gives, and he takes away.
I remember the day I met George. He walked in and sat in the back of the church on the right-hand side. He could not really hide; we were a small church, and he was a large man. My mind drifts back to that day, often to our conversation, to me asking if he had a family. I still remember him saying, "I listened to some of your sermons online, and I had to come to verify if this place was real." I told him that I hoped he found what he was looking for, and he did. I do not know that I have ever grown so close to someone so fast. I would talk with him multiple times throughout the week, have his family into my home and share things I had not shared with others. I could sit down and have a deep theological conversation or sit down and talk about nothing at all; it did not matter. George was that kind of friend. I remember the joy in my heart and being so thankful that God would bring someone to me that was such an encouragement. But the Lord gives, and he takes away.
I will never forget that day. I can remember every detail of the day; sometimes, I can still smell that day and still feel the coldness of that morning. I remember the run I had that morning. I remember having some coffee with the guys; I remember being outside and the tree falling into the neighbor's yard. The one memory I have never been able to shake is when George said, "hey Sean, where is your bathroom?" I think back to that moment over and over again. Often with tears in my eyes, and even though I know I would not have stopped what was about to happen, I wonder what if I would have at least said something. What if I had asked if he was ok? What if I had not waited so long to check on him? Did he know what was happening when he walked into that bathroom and collapsed? Was it fast? Did he know I love him? What were the thoughts in his mind? You see, I will never forget that day. It is etched in my mind. Me telling him I was coming in, and no response. Us breaking the door down and administering CPR. I can still hear the count in my head; I still remember the breaths that I gave; it was like it happened yesterday. Yet I come to this conclusion the Lord gives, and he takes away. I often ask God why he would take away a friend like George, and I have no answer. Will I bless the name of the Lord?
Bill Sexton walked into our church on a Wednesday in a suit. I was in shorts and a t-shirt. I introduced myself as the pastor. I remember his first words to me, "Do you preach on the sovereignty of God in this church" I remember thinking that is an odd question. My response? "Is it in the Bible," to which he responded, "yes," to which I replied, "then I preach on it?" He said he and his wife would be back on Sunday, but I did not believe it. Sure enough, there they were that Sunday. Then the Sunday after that, then the Sunday after that, and they just kept on coming.
To Bill, age did not mean anything. It did not matter that he was far older than I; he still would ask me how to handle something, and he still asked me what I thought. He was an intelligent man, constantly studying and reading. Bill never missed a chance to encourage me. Time and time again, he would encourage me sometimes on Sunday; after the message sometimes, he would call me midweek just to encourage me. Bill would tell me on the phone he loved me, and I had no problem saying it back. Often he would say it was his job to be an encouragement to me. I can remember Bill saying that he wanted to be like Aaron or Hurr, who held up the hands of Moses. He felt it was his job to hold up my hands even if I could not hold them up any longer. Every pastor needs a man like Bill. A man who will walk through the fire for you, a man who will stand and fight the battles everyone else is afraid of fighting. However, the Lord gives, and he takes away.
Bill got sick and ended up in the hospital; he went from the hospital to a nursing home, where I was finally able t see him. He was not good, but he still encouraged me. he went from the nursing home back to the hospital. I tried every trick i Could think of to see him and could not get in due to covid restrictions. When Bill got covid, it was all downhill from there. They finally let me in to see him with his son, and they finally let his wife in to see him as well. I remember when I first walked in, he said to me, "I'm sorry."
I could not think of anything this man would need to apologize for, but Bill always felt he could have done more. If you know him you, this is true. I will never forget the day they said if he were to go on a ventilator, he had about a 5 percent chance of coming off. I explained this to him and asked what he wanted to do. He decided to go on his own terms and in the strength of the Lord. I remember whispering in his ear that it was ok to go home. As the end drew close, I went to his bedside and held his hand. I held his hand a lot in those last days, and I was standing there holding his hand; he drew his last breath and stepped into glory. This man that told me he wanted to hold my arms up when I could not lay there as I held his hand. God gave me the privilege to know him, and the privilege to be there with him when he drew his final breath. His battle on earth was done. The Lord gives, and he takes away will I bless the name of the Lord?
I recent weeks, these thoughts have often entered my mind. I have moments of extreme loneliness where I can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. I am a highly social person, and I have often asked the Lord why he would give these men only to take them away. I have cried many times, praying for someone to come into my life like either of these men. Sometimes just wishing I had someone to hang out with or a guy to invite over with his family for a cookout sometime, just anything. Then I discovered I am unwilling to take a risk, that I am so afraid of losing that I will even make excuses for other people as to why I won't ask them over or to do something.
You see, being a pastor, sometimes I think people feel like they kind of have to invite you over or ask you to do stuff with them, but what happens when you are no longer a pastor? What happens when you are just a regular guy, and no one really seems to notice you? No one seems to care, and no one is really vying to spend time with you. The invitations stop, you begin to wonder if you have the plague or something you do not even here from your own denomination; no one checks up on you even when they know what you are going through. These are things I have rarely, if ever, been faced with. Perhaps I feel alone because I am alone; perhaps I feel like I don't belong because, at this moment, I don't belong. Maybe that day will come when I do. Perhaps the Lord will one day grant me, someone, to step into my life once again. For now, In His providence, the Lord gives and takes away. May I fight to say blessed be the name of the Lord?
How to have hope amid grief
Christians need to tell their story because it is the story of God’s redemption
Christianity is the story of God's redemption. The Christian narrative begins with the fall of humanity, which was due to the first man and woman's disobedience to God's command not to eat from the tree of knowledge. This disobedient act resulted in sin entering into humanity and death afflicting humankind. Humanity cannot fix this, except through Christ, who became a man Himself, took on our sins and died for them.
While reading about Elijah recently, I realized that while Christians may at times feel like their story is not essential or that telling their story will not help them or others, that is just not the case. For one reason or another, we refuse to tell our story of grief. Maybe it is fear that our story really is meaningless, or perhaps it is fear that our story is not that bad. Maybe we have a suspicion that telling our story of loss and grief will only conjure up feelings of pain and hurt that we will not be able to deal with. Regardless the story needs to be told. Christians need to talk about their account to understand the depth of what it means to be redeemed. The Bible says that for someone's sins to be forgiven, they must confess them and then make recompense (Numbers 5:7). It sounds like a lot, but the word "recompense" is translated from the Hebrew word "kippah," which means "to cover." How does one cover their sin? In the Old Testament, sin was covered by sacrificing a spotless lamb; however, Jesus is that lamb. There is no more sacrifice needed; Jesus paid the price. So when one receives Christ as savior, their sin is forgiven. How does this relate to telling our Story?
In Genesis 32, Elijah has fled from Jezebel Elijah makes it to Horeb, and something interesting happens. God permits Elijah to tell his story of grief. Not once but twice. God already knew why Elijah was grieving, and yet He allowed Elijah to tell the story. We must realize as followers of Christ that it is a wonderful relief to be able to tell your grief. To sit down and ponder those moments of sorrow, pain, loss, heartache, hurts, and allow the floodgate to open and for your sorrows to run away. If there is no one to hear it but God, that is ok; if there is no human to listen to our grief, it is still sweet to unburden your heart of the pain. However, I would challenge all Christians not to allow it to stop there. If we allow it to stop with just sharing our grief with the Lord, we have stopped short of the gospel. Instead, I would challenge us to share our stories with others so that we can reveal God's redemptive purpose.
The Biblical Story
Salvation through faith in Jesus Christ, who died on the cross and rose again to defeat sin and death forever. The stories one finds in Christianity are no less riveting than any other great story, but they are different. Christians need to tell their story because it is the story of God's redemption. It is not the story of how man gets to heaven or even finds their way to heaven but rather the account of one man who was God in the flesh who came to earth to pay the price we could never pay. If we keep our story to ourselves, we will never express or learn to express God's redemptive plan in the middle of our mess. The core of our story remains unchanged; we are redeemed by Jesus Christ's power and strive to share that message with others. We must stand up and proclaim that God is making a difference in this world, and it starts with each individual who trusts Jesus Christ as their Savior.
Who we are
We are God's children and heirs to eternal life with Him in heaven. Christians need to tell their story because it is the story of God's redemption. Some people wonder if there is a Creator, and some even question if they have a soul. The world often leaves people feeling empty and without hope. But we can rest assured in knowing that we belong to God and He has a plan for our lives: We were created for a purpose. The purpose does not include never opening our mouths and sharing about the one we believe is the savior of people. Who are we? We are children of God called and designed to share our stories with others. This lead me to this
Christian Witness
Living a life of faithfulness to God... means living a life of courage and hope.
Living a life of faithfulness to God not only means living a life of courage and hope but also living in the light. When Christians come out and tell their story, they proclaim that God never gives up and that there is always healing and redemption. Sure we may give up, we may throw our hands in the air, we may struggle with the problems we face, but God does not. It's so crucial for Christians to be open about their faith because, again, it is the story of God's redemption.
Christians should be open about their faith. Throughout history, Christians have been persecuted for what they do and what they believe in. It is important to tell people that they are not alone, that their life has meaning, that there is a purpose in life, and that they can come back to God even when they feel like giving up.
One of the most significant things about Christianity is that it is an evangelistic religion - Christianity is all about sharing what God has done in one's life. It's not just for us Christians, but it's for everyone. What makes Christianity so significant to the world around us is that it has the power to change lives and give hope when there seems to be none. What makes Christianity so significant to the world around us is that it has the power to change lives. The Christian religion offers a story of hope, love, and redemption - all three of which we need in this difficult world. Christians need to tell their story because in our story is the story of God's redemption.
Conclusion
The world needs Christians to tell their stories because in it is the story of God's redemption, which is our hope today. When Christians are able to tell their story with honesty and authenticity, it becomes a challenge for others who may not know Christ. Their hope is to help others see the truth of who Christ is and what He has done for them. In conclusion, Christians need to tell their story because in it is the story of God's redemption. The Biblical account, who we are, and what we should do as Christians should be told so that others can understand why we believe and live as we do. So that they to may believe.
We are all broken, sinful people who need a savior.
Jesus came to earth, sacrificed himself for us, and willingly died for our sins.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the key to being saved from eternal damnation.
Tell Your Story.
How Should A Christian Handle Trauma
I know this is a longer post because this is something dear to my heart; hopefully, you can learn something from this. There is a reason why the Bible instructs Christians to "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God." (Phil. 4:6). The problem is that trauma can cause people to lose their faith in God. There are many unfortunate things in today's society, such as natural disasters, terrorist attacks, forms of abuse, losses, and many other things that lead to traumatic experiences.
What is trauma?
Trauma is a psychological term that refers to the emotional response to an event that threatens one's physical, social, or emotional well-being. Trauma can be defined as an emotional injury that is the result of an adverse event. For Christians, this could be anything from physical abuse to rape to losing a loved one. This trauma can manifest in many ways, but the most common symptom is fear, which is considered multidimensional in traumatic experiences. There are five stages of trauma: -Acute Shock-Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Depression The best way for a Christian to handle trauma is first by acknowledging it. This will make it easier to deal with. Secondly, they should turn their attention towards God and pray. Lastly, they should seek comfort and help from family, friends and, fellow Christians. However, we all know that often this is not what happens when A Christian experiences trauma; for one reason or another, they feel shame, and instead of dealing with their hurt, they suppress it.
One might ask what exactly are the Causes of Trauma.
A traumatic event is not one's fault. It is impossible to predict the future and avoid traumatic events, but it is possible to be prepared for them. A person may experience a traumatic event listed below, but we must understand there are many ways to help with trauma, and each person will need a different treatment plan.
Witnessing or experiencing violence
When one witnesses or experiences violence, it is a difficult and traumatic experience. Every year, millions of people fall victim to violence. Their lives are suddenly and irrevocably changed. They may be unable to work, go to school or even feel safe. When violence causes trauma, it can lead to a wide range of mental health problems.
Witnessing the death of loved ones
Every day we live and work, we may experience stress and trauma. Like any other human being, Christians go through difficult life experiences. The death of a loved one is a traumatic event for anyone to experience. Christians have the added need to know whether their loved one believed in Christ or not on top of the desire to know that their loved one knew they loved them.
Witnessing the death of a loved one can be an incredibly traumatic experience.
Witnessing or experiencing sexual assault
Witnessing or experiencing sexual assault can be a very traumatic experience. In some cases, trauma can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is an anxiety disorder that may cause flashbacks and nightmares of the event. It's important to remember that not everyone who goes through a sexual assault will develop PTSD - the severity of the trauma will determine if a person experiences this mental health issue. Some people may develop sexual assault trauma disorder (SATD), also known as complex trauma disorder. This disorder can include symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance, dissociation, and anxiety. People may also develop a dissociative identity disorder following a trauma such as sexual abuse.
Experiencing physical abuse
Physical abuse is often an experience that people are left to ponder the aftermath of. As a result, the trauma can cause long-term repercussions for victims. What does this mean for Christians who have experienced physical abuse? While it may be difficult to know the answer in every situation, there are steps that Christian individuals can take to process their experience in healthy ways.
Experiencing verbal abuse
The most common response to trauma is to try and push it out of your mind. However, when you experience verbal abuse, this is not always the case.
First off, you may find days when you can't stop thinking about what was said to you. Secondly, you may find yourself reacting in anger when someone says something similar. Thirdly, there are times when memories of that hurtful event would arise without any triggering event happening, which is called spontaneous recovery.
Experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event
Typically, a traumatic event is a disturbing, violent, or scary experience that someone goes through. That being said, just because someone has been through a traumatic event does not mean it will lead to trauma. If a person can process their emotions and thoughts about the event, they may not experience trauma. An individual should be aware of mental health resources so they can get help if needed. This way, they have the resources to maintain healthy relationships with themselves and others.
Does trauma happen to Christians?
Obviously, one can look at just a small portion of traumatic events listed and know that Christians experience trauma. The problem arises when "well-meaning" Christians want to treat trauma as something that is not real, or they have the attitude that trauma can be prayed away or even worse that if you are going through trauma, you must lack faith.
Are Christians traumatized? Yes.
Are they traumatized by the same things non-Christians are? Yes.
How should Christians respond to trauma?
Many Christians experience trauma and find themselves unable to cope with the stressors that come with it due to the lack of resources and counseling. Churches especially can be a great resource because they provide a sense of community and knowing that someone else has been through what you're going through. Churches also can be a place to go to get counseling and support. Christians should first find out what they are experiencing as trauma. How do you know if you are experiencing trauma?
People with trauma often experience a lot of the following symptoms:
- Feeling detached from others
- Feeling isolated
- Feeling hyper-aroused
- Feeling numb
- Feeling angry
- Feeling sad
- Feeling depressed
- Feeling anxious
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Feeling frustrated
- Having trouble concentrating
- Having trouble sleeping
- Having trouble eating
In addition, people who have been traumatized can have these symptoms:
- Agitation and irritability
- Low self-esteem
- Sleep problems
- Impulsivity
- Feeling suicidal
- Thinking of harming themselves or others
- Impulsively acting out
- Having trouble controlling their anger
- Inability to trust others
- Having trouble making decisions
- Having trouble being assertive
- Having trouble focusing
Treatment can help reduce the symptoms of trauma.
Healing takes time, so you need to be patient with yourself and allow God's power to work on you.
How can one work through memories of trauma?
In the past, when people were traumatized, they might feel guilty about what happened because they thought that they were supposed to be strong and that they were supposed to be able to get through it. They might have thought that they deserved the trauma. A therapist can help you take a different perspective that would change your entire life.
If you are ready to work through your trauma, there are a few things you should do.
- Talk to someone about your trauma. Especially someone who will understand. This person might be a friend or a family member, a pastor, or a counselor.
- Get the help of a therapist. If you are in a relationship, this person can help you work through your trauma.
In the aftermath of a traumatic event, it is not uncommon for a person to experience a great deal of anxiety and fear. The resulting feelings can cause significant stress and instability in their lives. It can also lead to mental health concerns such as depression, insomnia, and social withdrawal. These symptoms are very challenging to manage because they leave the individual feeling much worse about themselves and their situation.
Getting Help
If you have gone through trauma, I want to encourage you to get help.
Trauma can be tough. It can leave us feeling alone and afraid, and we might suppress our emotions for years after the event happens. It is essential to know that there is hope and healing available. One way to do this is through talk therapy: talking to a therapist about what happened and their feelings. Another option is through prayer: praying and seeking support from God and others to find peace again. Please reach out, even if it is to me. You do not need to carry this burden alone.
Conclusion:
How the Scriptures encourage us to handle trauma.
Many people find themselves in situations where they are faced with traumatic events. After these events occur, many people are left with questions about handling the trauma they have experienced. They may experience intense feelings of anger, disappointment, grief, or guilt. The scriptures encourage us to be gentle and kind to ourselves and others and accept that God's peace is found in Christ. Your own personal relationship with God is not based on your ability to do something but on your willingness to receive God's grace. You may be wondering how a Christian should go about handling trauma with the Bible. After all, the Bible speaks extensively on how we should live when things are going well and when they are difficult. Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you." Matthew 11:28.
The Bible was written by people who experienced trauma during their lifetime. A Christian should not be afraid to discuss these experiences with God and other Christians. God wants to help us all heal, but sometimes it may take time and be difficult. God will do everything in His power to help us heal.
I close with this.
Every human being will experience trauma. It is impossible to go through life without experiencing some type of trauma. As a Christian, you, too, will encounter tragedy and hardship. However, God has promised to never leave us or forsake us.
How Pastors Struggle With Mental Health
Intro:
For me, it started with a simple message in Facebook messenger. Someone I barely knew was reaching out to me and asked if we could have lunch and if I could help them learn more about our town. Of course, I knew this was not why he wanted to meet. I will never forget his words as he sat across from me and said, "I am worried about you, I see you in a downward spiral, and I am concerned for your health and your ministry." For the first time, I was talking with someone who would not let me off the hook, and as we sat there, he would not let me leave until we had a plan. By the way, he is my counselor.
Pastors are not immune to mental health struggles. In a recent study, it was found that pastors experience more symptoms of depression and anxiety than non-pastors. Pastors have difficulty finding time for themselves. They are constantly trying to be the caregiver for their congregation, making them feel like they don't have control over their own lives.
What Is Mental Health?
Mental health, the medical term, is defined as a state of well-being in which an individual realizes their own abilities, can cope with the everyday stresses of life, can work productively, and can make a contribution to their community. Mental health does not mean that one's life is devoid of challenges and difficulties. In fact, Depression and Anxiety are part of "normal" life in that most people experience them at some time. However, for whatever reason, "mental health" conversations are sometimes taboo among Christians, particularly pastors. Why Is Mental Health Important? Mental health is essential because it is the health of the mind that makes us truly healthy. The Bible says that "a body without a soul is dead" (Ecc. 9:5). Mental health is the health of both body and soul.
What pastors need to know about mental health.
Mentally healthy people are much more likely to be able to cope well when difficulties arise. It is the difference between being able to cope well when there is a hurricane, flood, or earthquake and being unable to cope when there is a hurricane, flood, or earthquake. In fact, depression and anxiety are part of the "normal" experience of life. However, most people are not aware of these feelings, and many of us try to deal with them alone. Because mental health is so important, pastors should know about mental health and minister to people with mental health problems.
Mental health and the mental illness of others cannot be separated from the work of ministry. Therefore, ministers have a special obligation to minister to people with mental illness. The first thing ministers must do is to understand the illness. As a pastor, you must know the signs, symptoms, and causes of mental illness. You must know the diagnosis, the history, and the prognosis. You must also know how mental health professionals can help people with mental illness.
When The Pastor Struggles
However, what happens when all of this hits close to home? What happens when the pastor struggles with mental health? Or the minister goes through a period of emotional distress?
The key to ministry is caring for people. That is what makes us ministers. Therefore, ministers must be able to care for themselves. A minister who is sick is a sick minister. A minister who is depressed is a depressed minister.
A minister who struggles with mental illness is a minister who is struggling with something that needs to be addressed. If a minister is concerned about their mental health, they should be concerned about the church and about the church’s concern for them.
Pastors must be able to identify what makes them more susceptible to mental illness and know the steps they can take to be well.
Of course, we are not going to leave out the Bible
The Bible helps us understand the issue of mental health. The Bible is especially helpful in helping us recognize mental illness and encouraging us to seek help.
In Psalm 139, the psalmist writes about his mental illness. He says:
Hear, O Yahweh, my voice when I call to you;
hear me when I call to you,
for my cry has reached to you,
to your holy temple.
The psalmist understood that mental illness is real.
Pastors, we must understand that this is a real thing, not something that is just made up, and we must understand it is ok for us to struggle as well.
Pastors are people too.
They have bodies, minds, and emotions just like the rest of us. However, for many pastors that are involved in ministry work or are focused on serving their congregation members or other Christians, there is little time to focus on themselves which leads to a decreased awareness of wellness, burnout, depression, and suicide.
How can the church be supportive of a pastor who is struggling with mental health issues?
Some of the things that can be done to keep a pastor healthy are:
- Make sure the pastor's needs are met.
- Offer help in the form of a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist.
- Provide rest and relaxation time for the pastor.
- Encouragement: Tell him how much you care about him. Encourage him to seek professional help or make sure he knows that he is not alone.
- Build him up: Praise him for his work; allow him to be recognized for his work.
- Finally, just take the time to talk to the pastor. Ask him how he is doing, if there is any way you can help, how is his family doing, what is he struggling with?
I want to take a quick moment and talk about a few things that can be done to help.
The importance of self-care.
This is important for a couple of reasons. One is to help you keep your faith. It is easy to get worn out in ministry and feel like you can't be a good pastor unless you are putting your life on hold and are putting yourself last. This is a terrible mindset to have. The other reason is that pastors are constantly in touch with their bodies. It is easy to be so busy doing ministry that you don't have the time to make sure you are healthy. This is a massive problem for pastors. Pastor, you must practice self-care, meaning you must take time to take care of yourself.
Take time to exercise.
Make it a priority to set aside time to do things that increase your heart rate, and the will help you stay healthy. This does not have to be running; it can be doing something fun or some sort of sport; it can even mean going out and prayer walking. The point is to get some exercise
Get enough sleep.
Your brain actually heals when it sleeps. If you are not getting enough sleep sooner or later, it will affect the rest of your body. A lack of sleep can lead to cognitive impairment, making it difficult for someone to concentrate and remember details. Another effect is the depletion of energy. Sleep deprivation is also associated with increased rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide ideation.
Get some sunshine.
This may seem like a strange one, but the sun is actually a fantastic source of vitamins and minerals. This doesn’t mean you should stay in the sun for too long, but it means you should take advantage of the sun when you can.
Maintain relationships
Pastors have to have friends. They do not necessarily have to be in the church, but pastors need to have friends that they can talk to and that they can be real with. Pastor, you need a friends and for those that are not pastors, why not be a friend to your pastor?
In conclusion, pastors have a responsibility to their congregations, their church leadership team, and themselves. They must be mindful of the signs of depression and mental illness, get treatment when needed, and speak up when they notice that another pastor might need help.
To offer the best service possible to parishioners, pastors must also stay mentally healthy. Attend regular counseling sessions with a therapist who can diagnose and treat mental illness, if necessary.