Marks of a Victim Mentality

by Josh Monda | Dec 17, 2023 | Christianity, random thoughts, Uncategorized

Marks of a Victim Mentality

I am writing this blog post because, after some recent conversations, I concluded that it was needed. Perhaps it will help someone.

This post relies heavily on Biblical Counseling Keys on Victimization by June Hunt. I have put much of what is said into my own words but I have used several charts etc from that book.

If you have ever read the book of Ruth, you will know that Naomi is facing difficult circumstances, and she only places the blame on God.

Naomi, who is bereaved and barren following the deaths of her two adult sons, is expecting resentment, apprehension, and uncertainty as she considers returning to Israel from Moab. Although she begs her two daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, to seek refuge with their relatives, they remain steadfast in their determination to return to Israel in her company. … “No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord’s hand has turned against me!” (Ruth 1:13).

The two women are additionally compelled to depart by Naomi. Orpah ultimately makes the decision to return to her own family, whereas Ruth steadfastly remains. When Naomi sees how determined Ruth is, she gives up on her argument…

“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.”

(Ruth 1:16)

All individuals who have experienced victimization have been profoundly affected by trauma. Many individuals frequently arrive at erroneous assumptions regarding their own self and the world around them. These erroneous ideas cause injured hearts to adopt flawed responses and habits that conceal their profound pain and construct barriers that hinder closeness with God.

However, the Lord compassionately utilizes setbacks and problematic relationships to expose underlying emotional issues. When God holds each of us responsible, His intention is to dismantle these barriers and restore wounded hearts in order to liberate those who are imprisoned.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.”

(Luke 4:18)

Here is the question we must ask:

What Role Does Cultivating a Victim Mentality Play in Establishing Spiritual Barriers?

Upon the arrival of Naomi and her daughter-in-law, the town of Bethlehem is filled with excitement and commotion.

“… the women exclaimed, ‘Can this be Naomi?’ ”

(Ruth 1:19)

Naomi finds it unbearable to think about the meaning of her name, which denotes sweetness or pleasantness. Mara, who is known to be bitter, appears much more suitable for her situation…

“ ‘Don’t call me Naomi,’ she told them. ‘Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.’ ”

(Ruth 1:20–21)

People who adopt a victim mindset frequently think of themselves as spiritual…

I recently came across this chart, which I find to be helpful in understanding the characteristics of a victim mentality.

Prisoners of the Past

Faulty Reactions	Distorted Conclusions	Biblical Truth
• Blaming God	“This is God’s fault.” “God is not fair!”	“He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he” (Deuteronomy 32:4)
• Harboring anger toward God	“How could God let this happen to me?” “God doesn’t care about me.”	“The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does” (Psalm 145:17).
• Refusing to trust God	“I can’t depend on God.” “I don’t believe in God.”	“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)
• Fearing God	“I’m afraid of God.” “I want to hide from God.”	“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1)
• Doubting God’s Love	“God certainly doesn’t love me.” “I don’t deserve God’s love.”	“Great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever” (Psalm 117:2).

If these spiritual barriers are not addressed, they will isolate individuals from the truths found in the Bible, leading to the rapid development of a victim mentality.

( June Hunt, Biblical Counseling Keys on Victimization: Victory Over the Victim Mentality (Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart, 2003), 21–22.)

However, more than just spiritual barriers are built we also see emotional barriers being built.

What is the connection between building emotional barriers and developing a victim mentality?

Naomi and Ruth, both widows, are currently without any companionship and are in a state of extreme poverty. They lack any means of sustaining themselves and must depend on God’s provision.

Instead of succumbing to despair and self-indulgence, Ruth conceives a plan which Naomi endorses. She will adhere to the tradition of the impoverished and trail the harvesters in the fields of her fellow Hebrews, collecting the remnants they leave behind. Ruth’s proposal instills hope in Naomi, as it offers the possibility of Ruth gathering sufficient grain to sustain their nourishment and prevent starvation. The final result will be determined by divine intervention.

“Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, ‘Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.’ Naomi said to her, ‘Go ahead, my daughter.’ ”

(Ruth 2:2)

Those who adopt a victim mentality frequently perceive themselves as emotionally fragile. Again, I found a chart that illustrates the different types of victim mentalities people may have from the past

Prisoners of the Past

Faulty Reactions	Distorted Conclusions	Biblical Truth
• Bitterness	“I hate living in this family.” “I wish I were someone else.”	“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).
• False Guilt	“This is my fault.” “I must not tell; I’ll get in trouble.”	“You desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place” (Psalm 51:6).
• Shame	“Something must be wrong with me.” “I am a bad person.”	“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14).
• Unforgiveness	“I’ll never forgive them.” “I wish they were dead.”	“… if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).
• Fear	“What will happen to me if someone finds out?” “What if someone hurts me again?”	“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).
• Hopelessness	“Things have never been good.” “Life will never get better.”	“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).
• Self-centeredness	“I never have fun or enjoy life like others do.” “It’s hard to think of anything but my unhappiness.”	“The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever …” (Psalm 138:8).

(June Hunt, Biblical Counseling Keys on Victimization: Victory Over the Victim Mentality (Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart, 2003), 21–22.)

When left unchecked, these mental and emotional barriers block the light of God’s Word from reaching the heart and cause a victim mindset to set in.

We erect spiritual barriers, emotional barriers, and now we will see that we build relational barriers as well

So what is the correlation between building relational barriers and developing a victim mentality?

Amidst her sorrow and lack of clarity, Naomi is unable to comprehend that God is carefully arranging events for her benefit, and the key to this is her faithful companion, Ruth.

Ruth decides to gather leftover grain in a field owned by Boaz, who is a relative of Elimelech, Naomi’s late husband, in order to feed herself and her mother-in-law. He is a benevolent and noble guy, generously supporting and safeguarding Ruth in her endeavors.

Naomi’s desolate eyes brighten with a flicker of optimism upon learning the location where Ruth is gathering leftover grain.…

“ ‘The Lord bless him!’ Naomi said to her daughter-in-law. ‘He has not stopped showing his kindness to the living and the dead.’ She added, ‘That man is our close relative; he is one of our guardian-redeemers.’ ”

(Ruth 2:20)

You guessed it we have another chart.

Frequently, individuals who adopt a victim mentality perceive themselves as being relational.…

Prisoners of the Past

Faulty Reactions	Distorted Conclusions	Biblical Truth
• Fear	“People are unsafe.” “I must protect myself.”	“Do not be afraid of anyone, for judgment belongs to God” (Deuteronomy 1:17).
• Distrust	“People are unreliable.” “I must guard myself.”	“… there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).
• Anger	“People are perpetrators.” “I must avenge myself.”	“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
• Insecurity	“People are selfish.” “I must fend for myself.”	“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need” (Acts 2:44–45).

As survivors of abuse progress in their lives, they often surpass their flawed and juvenile perspectives on life. They discard their past and embark on a quest for satisfaction by pursuing individual objectives, such as devotion to God, matrimony, parenthood, professional advancement, financial prosperity, and other personal achievements.

Regrettably, the coping mechanisms that these individuals learned during their childhood to endure difficult circumstances persist as integral aspects of their personalities. These tendencies can solidify into impenetrable barriers surrounding emotional distress or injury, hindering self-awareness, vulnerability, and genuine closeness in relationships.

Although people who have been victimized as children seek for adult love… Frequently, embarking on a voyage inside their suppressed emotions appears excessively intimidating, and comprehending the concealed deceit feels profoundly intricate.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

(Jeremiah 17:9)

Why does cultivating fearfulness result in adopting a victim mentality?

Fear does not manifest spontaneously or independently. There is a factor that predisposes you to be influenced by fear, and there is a factor that activates that dread. The setup took place in the past, whereas the trigger happens in the present. Discovering the reality behind your fear will yield insight into the reasons for your current state of being controlled by fear and trapped in a mindset of victimhood.…

“Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.”

(Psalm 55:5)

I found this extremely helpful.

Past Setups for Fear

• Monumental Experiences

— Traumatic event

— Scary situations

— Abusive relationships

— Fearful role models

Gain awareness of the underlying cause of your fear and confront the reality of both past and present circumstances.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

• Emotional Overload

— Pent-up, unacknowledged feelings

— Unrealistic expectations

— Harsh, stressful environment

— Demanding, rejecting authority figures

Gain awareness of the underlying cause of your fear and seek God’s assistance in recovering from your emotional wounds.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6–7).

• Situational Avoidance

— Refusal to face fears

— Rejection of chances for change

— Reinforcement of fears

— Repetition of negative thought patterns

Recognize the underlying cause of your fear and permit the Lord to assist you in confronting your fears.

“I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13).

• Dismal Outlook

— Anticipation of danger and disaster

— Expectation of frustration and failure

— Belief of lies

— Rejection of truth

Identify the underlying cause of your fear and confront yourself with the truth.

(June Hunt, Biblical Counseling Keys on Victimization: Victory Over the Victim Mentality (Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart, 2003), 21–22.)

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

Now let’s ask

What is the relationship between victimization and codependency?

Codependency is a predictable consequence of abuse, just like how day always follows night. They are often closely associated … and with good justification. The reciprocal relationship between these two elements perpetuates and confines individuals within a recurring and agonizing pattern… a pattern that God desires to disrupt in order to facilitate liberation…

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

(Galatians 5:1)

Here is some more helpful information to help you break free from this recurring and agonizing pattern.

Codependency

Question: “How are victimized children set up to become codependent adults?”

Response: Nobody consciously intends to develop emotional addiction. Love cravings frequently arise during childhood due to a lack of emotional nourishment, resulting in empty “love buckets”. These children may develop into adult individuals with a compulsive need for love and intimacy because they…

• Did not receive enough positive affirmation as children

• Grew up feeling unloved, insignificant, and insecure

• Experienced a traumatic separation or a lack of bonding

• Felt and continue to feel intense sadness and a profound loss at being abandoned

• Experienced repeated rejection from their parents

• Felt and continue to feel extreme fear, helplessness, and emptiness

Children who lack emotional fulfillment develop an imaginary belief in a rescuer who will alleviate their anxiety and ultimately provide them with a sense of completeness. As adults, they continue to exhibit emotionally dependent behavior reminiscent of “children” who …

• Believe that being loved by someone—anyone—is the solution to their emptiness

• Enter relationships believing the other person cannot take care of themselves

• Assign too much value and power to the other person in a relationship

• Have tremendously unrealistic expectations of the other person

• Try to “stick like glue” to the other person in order to feel connected

• Live in fear that those who truly love them will ultimately leave them

The predicament of an individual addicted to love may appear insurmountable if not for the divine intervention of the Lord, who serves as the sole genuine deliverer, offering them boundless and everlasting affection. The Bible provides this guarantee …

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

(Jeremiah 31:3)

Codependent Relationships

Question: “What draws people into destructive, codependent relationships?”

Response: Individuals who experience emotional dependency during childhood and fail to acquire the essential abilities for establishing mature, well-functioning relationships do not develop a healthy sense of interdependence.

— They have difficulty speaking the truth, asking for what they want, and setting boundaries.

— They become codependent adults who are addicted to unhealthy relationships because they never learned anything different.

— They are desperately in need of finishing what they began in infancy—to grow up emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually so they can mature relationally!

The Bible employs the analogy of newborns consuming milk instead of solid food to describe those who are not yet fully formed.

“Though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.”

(Hebrews 5:12–13)

So now we ask

What is the underlying cause of a victim mentality?

Naomi, who previously experienced a lack of enthusiasm for life, now perceives a glimmer of optimism in the future.

According to tradition, the closest relative has the initial chance to purchase or “redeem” the property of a deceased individual. Naomi intends to sell a field that was owned by Elimelech. Boaz is considering purchasing the field, however, there is a closer relative who has the first right to acquire the property.

The man’s curiosity wanes upon learning that the legal deal entails obtaining ownership of the widow Ruth. Evidently, the property had been inherited by Ruth’s deceased husband, Mahlon, following his father’s demise. It is necessary “… to maintain the name of the dead with his property” (Ruth 4:5).

The kinsman rejects the full proposal, and Boaz acquires the land and marries Ruth. Naomi’s bitterness is alleviated as she welcomes the birth of her son, Obed.The user’s text is straightforward and precise.

“The women said to Naomi: ‘Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.’ ”

(Ruth 4:14–15)

Individuals who continue to be confined by a victim mentality do so as a result of a belief system that perpetuates their perception of being devoid of agency to effect change. Consequently, individuals sometimes exhibit a reluctance to assume accountability for their own process of healing and development.

• Wrong Belief:

“During my upbringing, I lacked the ability to alter the course of my life, and presently, I remain devoid of the capability to make any significant changes.” The events that have occurred in my life have shaped my identity, and I believe that I am not entitled to anything superior. Furthermore, I lack the necessary competence and proficiency compared to others, and the apprehension of being exposed as the unsuccessful individual I am inundates me.

Right Belief:

As a child of God, I possess the indwelling of Christ, endowing me with His transformative power. I relinquish my apprehension about failure and assume the duty to surmount my previous experiences, for I trust in the unwavering nature of God. He will accomplish the task! I have the ability to control and restrain all of my thoughts and initiate a systematic process of altering my mindset in order to achieve emotional, interpersonal, and spiritual well-being. I am resolute to …”

“… demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and … take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I know I can do this because …

“His divine power has given [me] everything [I] need for a godly life through [my] knowledge of him who called [me] by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3).

Ultimately, we have to come to the conclusion that we must

Face Our Predicament

Pay careful attention to what I am about to write, as it holds the key to overcoming.

• Understanding that God allowed your abuse, but did not cause or approve of it, is of utmost importance! God harbors an intense hatred towards wickedness and violence and will eventually eradicate all forms of evil and malevolent actions. He will deliver an everlasting verdict upon those who persist in their wicked behavior.…

“I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless.”

(Isaiah 13:11)

• Yes, God allowed it, but…

— Realize that human will must always be separated from God’s will.

— It is important to differentiate between permitting sin and actively producing or endorsing sinful behavior.

— Understand that God will pass judgment on sin and individuals who commit it, according to His own timing and methods.

— It is important to remember that God did not intervene to save His Son from the hands of wicked individuals and their wicked actions. Instead, He permitted Him to endure a profoundly agonizing suffering of victimization and death.

— Take heart in the knowledge that, even if God allows evil, He has the desire and ability to save both those who harmed others and those who have been harmed by others. He want to rejuvenate them and utilize them to fulfill His divine objectives.

Reckon that life is nothing more than a vapor. Nevertheless, God intends to transform you into the exact likeness of His cherished Son, Jesus Christ, because He loves you as His own child.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.… For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.…”

(Romans 8:37–39, 29)

It is natural to question or distrust things that do not align with our perceptions or that we do not comprehend.

— It is normal to be perplexed when something unexplainable happens. Hence, when one becomes a victim, it is instinctive to question the divine, “Why?”

— Even righteous Job questioned God.… “Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?” (Job 3:11).

• In periods of uncertainty …— Remember that God has an infallible plan for your life that cannot be hindered by anything or anyone.…

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.… For the Lord Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him? His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back?” (Job 42:2; Isaiah 14:27).

— Remember that God is omniscient and is always preeminent in guiding your path. He consistently supports you with His hand.

“You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.… Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?… If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast” (Psalm 139:5, 7, 9–10).

— Remember that God’s methods are different from ours and His thoughts are far superior, making it impossible for us to predict His intentions or understand His approach.

“How great are your works, Lord, how profound your thoughts!… ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’ ” (Psalm 92:5; Isaiah 55:8–9).

— Remember that God loves you intensely and that He will produce positive outcomes from all the events that occur in your life, including the malicious actions carried out by wicked individuals.…

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

— Reaffirm the fact that God possesses unlimited power, complete knowledge, constant presence, absolute righteousness, and that He has a valid purpose for every event He permits in your life.…

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2–4).

— Remember that you are a malleable substance under the control of God, particles shaped into a human being by your divine Creator, who intricately assembled you in your mother’s womb and documented every single day of your existence in His record even before they occurred.…

“Remember that you molded me like clay. Will you now turn me to dust again?… For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.… all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Job 10:9; Psalm 139:13, 16).

Now Comes the difficult part

Ways to Pardon Your Perpetrator

Have you ever observed the presence of the word “give” within the term “forgiveness”? By opting to forgive, you bestow upon someone a valuable present… The gift of liberation from the obligation to bear the consequences of offending you… the gift of absolving the indebtedness owing to you! To effectively bestow this challenging “gift,” it may be necessary to progress through four distinct phases of forgiveness. However, it is important to acknowledge that by doing so, you are also bestowing onto yourself the invaluable present of “living without harboring resentments.” Indeed, that represents genuine liberty. Consequently, the Bible asserts …

“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.”

(Leviticus 19:18)

The 4 Stages of Forgiveness

#1 Face the Offense.

Forgiveness is the only medicine that can soothe a wound that is deep, personal, unfair, and wounded. Initially, it is imperative to confront the reality of the actual actions that have taken place, without impeding genuine recovery by justifying or fixating on erroneous thoughts.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

(Ephesians 4:32)

• Avoid downplaying the offense by rationalizing: “Regardless of how poorly he treats me, it is acceptable.”

TRUTH: Poor treatment is unacceptable. There is just no justification for any form of mistreatment under any circumstances.The user’s text is straightforward and precise.

“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them” (Ephesians 5:11).

• Resist the urge to rationalize the offender’s actions by saying that “he doesn’t mean to hurt me.Since he is a member of my family, I ought not to feel apprehensive or distressed in his presence.

TRUTH: Regardless of the offender’s age or our relationship with them, it is imperative that we label wrongdoing as “sin.” We must confront the reality rather than attempting to alter it. In order to grant forgiveness, it is necessary for there to exist an individual who is responsible for a wrongdoing.The user’s text is straightforward and precise.

“Whoever says to the guilty, ‘You are innocent,’ will be cursed by peoples …” (Proverbs 24:24).

• Avoid the assumption that prompt forgiveness equates to complete forgiveness by believing: “Upon the occurrence of that dreadful ordeal, I expeditiously and entirely pardoned him.” “That is the instruction I have received!”

TRUTH: Numerous individuals with good intentions experience feelings of guilt when they fail to provide prompt forgiveness. Consequently, they exhibit a rapid propensity for forgiveness. However, they have not yet experienced the complete consequences of the offense nor properly mourned the true events. Sin’s profound consequences are not immediately experienced. Instead, its influence is experienced at various degrees across a duration of time.

Consequently, forgiveness must be offered at each of these levels. The act of quickly forgiving someone for profound hurts may appear satisfactory, but it does not constitute “complete forgiveness” until it has been offered at every level of influence. Prior to granting full forgiveness, it is necessary to confront the facts regarding the severity of the transgression and its lasting repercussions on oneself.The user’s text is straightforward and precise.

“You [God] desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.”

(Psalm 51:6)

#2 Feel the Offense.

Typically, we do not harbor hatred against strangers or acquaintances; rather, we just experience rage towards strangers. According to Lewis Smedes, the destruction of anything that was formed by our dedication and intimacy results in the destruction of something valuable. Deep, unjust suffering may elicit genuine emotions of indignation or even hatred. The deep-seated animosity towards a wrongdoer must be acknowledged and addressed from the depths of our own selves. Nevertheless, not every animosity is unjustifiable. God harbors a strong hatred towards evil.

“But you, Sovereign Lord, help me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.”

(Psalm 109:21–22)

• Avoid suppressing your pain by rationalizing: “I don’t hold her responsible for constantly criticizing me… She is experiencing significant pressure, and it does not negatively affect me.

TRUTH: Experiencing mistreatment from a person you have strong affection for can be quite distressing. Experiencing pain is a prerequisite for the process of healing.

“The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

• Avoid harboring false guilt by believing that you should feel bad about what was done to you. “I’m not supposed to be hateful.”

TRUTH: Sin offends God. A hatred of sin is something you are capable of as well. Hatred of the sin is expected, but not of the sinner…

“To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech” (Proverbs 8:13).

#3 Forgive the Offender.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.Alexander Pope’s well-known statement serves as a celestial reminder to all of us. But the real world operates more along the lines of “Mistakes are human, but blaming others is more human!” Isn’t it easier to place blame than to provide forgiveness? However, God asks us to extend forgiveness. And when you do forgive, it becomes authentic and brings you closer to God, transforming your life into that of Christ, the divine.

“You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”

(2 Corinthians 3:3)

• Create a list of all the offenses committed by your offender.

• At this moment, picture yourself with a hook affixed to your collarbone. And picture all of the suffering brought on by the wrong that was done to you, attached to the hook.

• Consider whether you genuinely desire to bear the burden of that pain indefinitely. It is desirable for you to relinquish the pain from your past and entrust it to the Lord.

• After that, put your offender on God’s hook and remove them from your emotional hook. Your wrongdoer will be dealt with by the Lord in His own time and manner. God declares…

“Bear with each other and forgive one another. if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

(Colossians 3:13)

Arguement: “I am unable to forgive and forget.” “I keep picturing myself getting hurt.”

Answer: A case of “holy amnesia” does not occur when an individual elects to forgive. However, once you have confronted the offender and confronted the suffering, refrain from replaying the agony of the past in your mind. You should forget your suffering. Avoid fixating on your pain.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past” (Isaiah 43:18).

#4 Find Oneness.

Relationships that are characterized by animosity inevitably come to an end, while ones that are characterized by forgiveness ultimately succeed. Nevertheless, achieving reconciliation in a relationship, which involves restoring unity, depends on several crucial criteria. The foremost factor is that the wrongdoer must openly own their wrongdoing, feel genuine remorse, and exhibit tangible evidence of a transformed lifestyle. If these criteria are fulfilled, namely, if both parties demonstrate a steadfast dedication to adhering to the teachings of Christ and maintaining integrity in their relationship, there exists a genuine prospect for the restoration of unity and harmony between them.

The Bible says …

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.”

(Philippians 2:1–2)

Forgiving the Offender and the Offense

Question: “Must I extend forgiveness even in cases of grave wrongdoing?”

Answer: You are being requested to grant forgiveness to both the wrongdoer and the wrongdoing. Choosing an alternative course of action would include retaining both elements and experiencing the burden they impose.

“If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

(Matthew 6:14)

Remaining a Victim

Question: “Does the act of forgiving necessitate that I must persist in being a victim?”

Answer: Negative. Granting forgiveness to others liberates you from the unfounded guilt that is confining you.

“If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

(Matthew 6:15)

God Is with Us When We Suffer

Question: “Where was God when my abuse was occurring?”

Answer: Two of the attributes of God: omniscience (all-knowing) and omnipresence (being present everywhere). Though God never intends evil, He is present with us when we suffer. And, while He does not promise to take away suffering in this sinful life, He does promise to take it away in the life to come.…

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

(Revelation 21:4)

God Will Punish the Offender

Question: “Why doesn’t God punish the offender?”

Answer: He will punish the evil and exalt the innocent at His appointed time and in His appointed manner….

“… the power of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous.”

(Psalm 37:17)

Trust God’s Love

Question: “How could a loving God allow this?”

Answer: Just as He does with His own Son, Jesus, the suffering that our heavenly Father permits serves a purpose and significance. Moreover, we can place our trust in the heart of God even when we fail to comprehend His methods. His love is certain and steadfast.…

“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.”

(1 Peter 2:21)

Releasing Bitterness When the Offender Is Dead

Question: “How can I let go of my bitterness toward my victimizer, who is now deceased?” is the question.

Even though you are unable to face your victimizer face-to-face, you can still indirectly confront them by speaking as though they were in front of you and saying what you would want or need to say.

* Think about the “chair technique.” Picture the individual in question sitting in a chair in front of you. Speak to them like you would if you were genuinely sat across a table from each other. Talk about how you feel about what was done to you and how those events have affected your life. After that, extend your forgiveness and clarify that you have moved the offending party onto God’s emotional hook.

• Write a letter to your victim, detailing every unpleasant memory. Read it over the person’s grave or in a place where you can openly speak to them as if you were in their presence. Then, at the end, choose to forgive by releasing your victimizer into God’s hands.

• Compile an inventory of both traumatic and joyful recollections. Return to the starting point and annotate each memory with the word “past” once the list is complete. Recognize and consent to the fact that the past has passed. As an act of volition, surrender the individual and all the anguish to God . Transfer the individual and their suffering from your personal emotional hook to God’s

Simply because your victimizer has passed away does not preclude you from forgiving and preventing resentment from developing in your heart and mind. The Bible declares…

“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

(Hebrews 12:15)

Where Is The Accountability For The Church?

by Josh Monda | May 22, 2022 | Christianity, Church, pastor, random thoughts, Uncategorized

In recent years there has been plenty of talk about holding the leadership of churches accountable, and rightfully so. The leader who abuses their power and who seeks to fleece the flock should always be held accountable for their sin. Even if that accountability does not take place on earth, we can take comfort in the fact that God will hold all leaders to a special kind of accountability; this is made clear in the book of James, where we read, “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly” (James 3:1). Honestly, I do not know of any pastors who desire to be biblical who would make an argument for no accountability in leadership; in fact, most of them have made the opposite argument. In fact, this is one of the great benefits of a plurality of elders having a group of men qualified to be elders holding one another accountable. That is really not what I want to deal with here. I do not want to deal with what happens when the pastor is abusive, but what happens when the pastor is the one being abused? I read this tweet that was put out last year “For every horror story you tell me about a pastor who abused his leadership, I can tell you ten about leaders who abused their pastor.” There is an abundance of truth in that tweet.

Why is there so little written about this subject? It almost seems like this is the deep dark sin of the church that no one wants to talk about. I look around at many friends, acquaintances, and people I know who are no longer pastors; most of them will never return to the ministry, and granted, I am only hearing one side of the story, but from all intensive purposes, the problem was not their leadership it was not that they were abusive to their church, but often they were the ones being abused. They were not being abused by the church as a whole but being abused by a select group of power players in the church that had it out for them for one reason or another. In recent months I have read one story after another of pastors being abused; some of these stories are horrific; when I have read them, I could not help but think this is not how Christians are to act. Pastors coming back from sabbaticals to find out they are fired. Small groups of enraged members propagate disinformation and falsehoods to congregations to remove a pastor from any position of power or moral authority (in my case, it is still happening). Stories of pastors pouring their lives into person after person, only for those people to take the pastor’s services for free and then ghost the pastor for the tiniest reasons. What happens if for every story we have of a pastor abusing authority, there are ten pastors who are being abused. I see friends who are beaten, battered, and bruised by the sheep they were leading,, and it breaks my heart.

What happens to these churches? If the leader is abusive, he will often lose his job, resign in shame, and will never enter the ministry again, or they will just go somewhere else and do it all over again; when the church is abusive, guess what the same thing happens. The pastor often resigns in shame and leaves the ministry, never to return again. Where is the accountability? Apparently, there is not any. What is the recourse? Apparently, there is none. Perhaps my view is a bit jaded because I am one of those pastors, but this is why I set out to read as much as I could and talk to some people that had left their church. The story is almost always very close to being identical.

Someone in the church gets upset for one reason or another; this person wields power for whatever reason in the church often because they are the main giver, or they have been there the longest, or they are the gossiper, or whoever it might be. Sometimes it is all of these people coming against the pastor. I wonder if we will ever launch a study on this? Probably not because that would mean a black eye. Anyway, the pastor resigns, the troublemaker in the church gets their way, the pastor loses what seems like his whole way of life, and the church just acts like nothing happened. Sometimes in my denomination, some people will sweep in and do all they can to rescue this church. This is probably because this is far easier than reprimanding the church; after all, the church gives money, and the pastor doesn’t. I am thankful that I initially received some help, but I know that is not the norm. Sure the church may be known as “the church who runs pastors through the meat grinder,” as one deacon said to me, but does that matter? Does it matter when sin is not addressed? Does it matter when they continue to go one like they always have? Does it matter when they get to blame their sin on others or pretend like sin was not the issue?

In the meantime, the pastor has lost his whole way of life. He does not get to be with those other pastors that he at least thought were his friends. His community is gone, and he is no longer using the gifts that God has given him to serve the kingdom, primarily the gift of preaching/teaching. The pastor feels isolated, lonely, and sometimes without hope. Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, months turn to years, and this calling that so gripped his soul is somehow gone. Maybe he wants to continue on, but he is afraid things will just turn out the same, and so it is easier to just give up. Here is my question? For these churches that are part of a denomination, why are they allowed to just keep doing the same thing over and over again? Why is there no accountability for the church? Why doesn’t anyone step in to the gap and address the issue? Why are they allowed to just blame it on the pastor and move on? Why do we indulge this kind of behavior? Do we really believe that they will not answer for this sin in the end? Do we really believe that the right way to handle it is to pretend like there is no problem and move on? Do we really believe that by aiding in their sinfulness, we won’t answer for it? Seemingly we do.

I can remember the day I told my children Iwas resigning one of my children innocently said “but dad who is going to tell them about Jesus” and on that day another one of my children checked out from church. Over the course of the next several days I could hear it in the questions they were asking. They could not understand why Christians would act this way “so these people now for whatever reason hate dad?” In some respects I appreciated the comment as it told me they saw me different than those making accusations. In another way though I knew they began to check out. I pray for them daily that they will be drawn back in.

I recently went on a pastors retreat and heard a message on pastoral perseverance where the message was speaking about the slow death that pastors are called to die and these things left me weeping and in tears as I thought of my own slow death that would eventually come.

From 2 Corinthains 4

1. Pastors die at a different rate based on circumstances

The harder the ministry context the quicker the death comes. Do not compare yourself to each other. Do not compare your death to someone else’s death. The body keeps the score.

2. Pastors have different capacities to die

We are all made differently. We all have different thresholds that we can endure. You can’t compare your capacity with another.

3. Pastors are given what we need to not lose heart as we die.

This will push us to the brink but it will not destroy us. V.1 He will not spare us from the death because it is part of his plan that we die but he will be with us to allow us to die well.

4. Pastors thrive in this death by embracing weakness

V . 7 Christ is most strong in us in our weakness it is our weakness that fuels the strength of Christ. Do not fight against the death but embrace it.

Brother pastor, if you have stumbled across this blog and you have rad this far you may be hurting I want you to remember the cross always precedes the crown. It is hard to suffer abuse of power, but the chief pastor willingly suffered the abuse of power on a hill called Calvary, and we are his undershepherds, and honestly, we should expect no less. There is a day coming when the injsutices against you will be made right. If you are not a pastor and you have read this and you know your pastor or of a pastor being abused I would beg of you do all you can to stop it. I was able to find a few articles on this subject they are linked below if you would like to read more.

Is Your Church Committing Pastor Abuse? 5 Warning Signs

https://www.christiancentury.org/review/books/how-dying-churches-abuse-pastors

If you are a pastor in an abusive church, please know that you are not alone

Christians need to tell their story because it is the story of God’s redemption

by Josh Monda | Nov 29, 2021 | Mental Health, random thoughts

Christianity is the story of God’s redemption. The Christian narrative begins with the fall of humanity, which was due to the first man and woman’s disobedience to God’s command not to eat from the tree of knowledge. This disobedient act resulted in sin entering into humanity and death afflicting humankind. Humanity cannot fix this, except through Christ, who became a man Himself, took on our sins and died for them.

While reading about Elijah recently, I realized that while Christians may at times feel like their story is not essential or that telling their story will not help them or others, that is just not the case. For one reason or another, we refuse to tell our story of grief. Maybe it is fear that our story really is meaningless, or perhaps it is fear that our story is not that bad. Maybe we have a suspicion that telling our story of loss and grief will only conjure up feelings of pain and hurt that we will not be able to deal with. Regardless the story needs to be told. Christians need to talk about their account to understand the depth of what it means to be redeemed. The Bible says that for someone’s sins to be forgiven, they must confess them and then make recompense (Numbers 5:7). It sounds like a lot, but the word “recompense” is translated from the Hebrew word “kippah,” which means “to cover.” How does one cover their sin? In the Old Testament, sin was covered by sacrificing a spotless lamb; however, Jesus is that lamb. There is no more sacrifice needed; Jesus paid the price. So when one receives Christ as savior, their sin is forgiven. How does this relate to telling our Story?

In Genesis 32, Elijah has fled from Jezebel Elijah makes it to Horeb, and something interesting happens. God permits Elijah to tell his story of grief. Not once but twice. God already knew why Elijah was grieving, and yet He allowed Elijah to tell the story. We must realize as followers of Christ that it is a wonderful relief to be able to tell your grief. To sit down and ponder those moments of sorrow, pain, loss, heartache, hurts, and allow the floodgate to open and for your sorrows to run away. If there is no one to hear it but God, that is ok; if there is no human to listen to our grief, it is still sweet to unburden your heart of the pain. However, I would challenge all Christians not to allow it to stop there. If we allow it to stop with just sharing our grief with the Lord, we have stopped short of the gospel. Instead, I would challenge us to share our stories with others so that we can reveal God’s redemptive purpose.

The Biblical Story

Salvation through faith in Jesus Christ, who died on the cross and rose again to defeat sin and death forever. The stories one finds in Christianity are no less riveting than any other great story, but they are different. Christians need to tell their story because it is the story of God’s redemption. It is not the story of how man gets to heaven or even finds their way to heaven but rather the account of one man who was God in the flesh who came to earth to pay the price we could never pay. If we keep our story to ourselves, we will never express or learn to express God’s redemptive plan in the middle of our mess. The core of our story remains unchanged; we are redeemed by Jesus Christ’s power and strive to share that message with others. We must stand up and proclaim that God is making a difference in this world, and it starts with each individual who trusts Jesus Christ as their Savior.

Who we are

We are God’s children and heirs to eternal life with Him in heaven. Christians need to tell their story because it is the story of God’s redemption. Some people wonder if there is a Creator, and some even question if they have a soul. The world often leaves people feeling empty and without hope. But we can rest assured in knowing that we belong to God and He has a plan for our lives: We were created for a purpose. The purpose does not include never opening our mouths and sharing about the one we believe is the savior of people. Who are we? We are children of God called and designed to share our stories with others. This lead me to this

Christian Witness

Living a life of faithfulness to God… means living a life of courage and hope.

Living a life of faithfulness to God not only means living a life of courage and hope but also living in the light. When Christians come out and tell their story, they proclaim that God never gives up and that there is always healing and redemption. Sure we may give up, we may throw our hands in the air, we may struggle with the problems we face, but God does not. It’s so crucial for Christians to be open about their faith because, again, it is the story of God’s redemption.

Christians should be open about their faith. Throughout history, Christians have been persecuted for what they do and what they believe in. It is important to tell people that they are not alone, that their life has meaning, that there is a purpose in life, and that they can come back to God even when they feel like giving up.

One of the most significant things about Christianity is that it is an evangelistic religion – Christianity is all about sharing what God has done in one’s life. It’s not just for us Christians, but it’s for everyone. What makes Christianity so significant to the world around us is that it has the power to change lives and give hope when there seems to be none. What makes Christianity so significant to the world around us is that it has the power to change lives. The Christian religion offers a story of hope, love, and redemption – all three of which we need in this difficult world. Christians need to tell their story because in our story is the story of God’s redemption.

Conclusion

The world needs Christians to tell their stories because in it is the story of God’s redemption, which is our hope today. When Christians are able to tell their story with honesty and authenticity, it becomes a challenge for others who may not know Christ. Their hope is to help others see the truth of who Christ is and what He has done for them. In conclusion, Christians need to tell their story because in it is the story of God’s redemption. The Biblical account, who we are, and what we should do as Christians should be told so that others can understand why we believe and live as we do. So that they to may believe.

We are all broken, sinful people who need a savior.

Jesus came to earth, sacrificed himself for us, and willingly died for our sins.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the key to being saved from eternal damnation.

Tell Your Story.

How Should A Christian Handle Trauma

by Josh Monda | Nov 17, 2021 | Mental Health, random thoughts, Uncategorized

I know this is a longer post because this is something dear to my heart; hopefully, you can learn something from this. There is a reason why the Bible instructs Christians to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.” (Phil. 4:6). The problem is that trauma can cause people to lose their faith in God. There are many unfortunate things in today’s society, such as natural disasters, terrorist attacks, forms of abuse, losses, and many other things that lead to traumatic experiences.

What is trauma?

Trauma is a psychological term that refers to the emotional response to an event that threatens one’s physical, social, or emotional well-being. Trauma can be defined as an emotional injury that is the result of an adverse event. For Christians, this could be anything from physical abuse to rape to losing a loved one. This trauma can manifest in many ways, but the most common symptom is fear, which is considered multidimensional in traumatic experiences. There are five stages of trauma: -Acute Shock-Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Depression The best way for a Christian to handle trauma is first by acknowledging it. This will make it easier to deal with. Secondly, they should turn their attention towards God and pray. Lastly, they should seek comfort and help from family, friends and, fellow Christians. However, we all know that often this is not what happens when A Christian experiences trauma; for one reason or another, they feel shame, and instead of dealing with their hurt, they suppress it.

One might ask what exactly are the Causes of Trauma.

A traumatic event is not one’s fault. It is impossible to predict the future and avoid traumatic events, but it is possible to be prepared for them. A person may experience a traumatic event listed below, but we must understand there are many ways to help with trauma, and each person will need a different treatment plan.

Witnessing or experiencing violence

When one witnesses or experiences violence, it is a difficult and traumatic experience. Every year, millions of people fall victim to violence. Their lives are suddenly and irrevocably changed. They may be unable to work, go to school or even feel safe. When violence causes trauma, it can lead to a wide range of mental health problems.

Witnessing the death of loved ones

Every day we live and work, we may experience stress and trauma. Like any other human being, Christians go through difficult life experiences. The death of a loved one is a traumatic event for anyone to experience. Christians have the added need to know whether their loved one believed in Christ or not on top of the desire to know that their loved one knew they loved them.

Witnessing the death of a loved one can be an incredibly traumatic experience.

Witnessing or experiencing sexual assault

Witnessing or experiencing sexual assault can be a very traumatic experience. In some cases, trauma can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is an anxiety disorder that may cause flashbacks and nightmares of the event. It’s important to remember that not everyone who goes through a sexual assault will develop PTSD – the severity of the trauma will determine if a person experiences this mental health issue. Some people may develop sexual assault trauma disorder (SATD), also known as complex trauma disorder. This disorder can include symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance, dissociation, and anxiety. People may also develop a dissociative identity disorder following a trauma such as sexual abuse.

Experiencing physical abuse

Physical abuse is often an experience that people are left to ponder the aftermath of. As a result, the trauma can cause long-term repercussions for victims. What does this mean for Christians who have experienced physical abuse? While it may be difficult to know the answer in every situation, there are steps that Christian individuals can take to process their experience in healthy ways.

Experiencing verbal abuse

The most common response to trauma is to try and push it out of your mind. However, when you experience verbal abuse, this is not always the case.

First off, you may find days when you can’t stop thinking about what was said to you. Secondly, you may find yourself reacting in anger when someone says something similar. Thirdly, there are times when memories of that hurtful event would arise without any triggering event happening, which is called spontaneous recovery.

Experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event

Typically, a traumatic event is a disturbing, violent, or scary experience that someone goes through. That being said, just because someone has been through a traumatic event does not mean it will lead to trauma. If a person can process their emotions and thoughts about the event, they may not experience trauma. An individual should be aware of mental health resources so they can get help if needed. This way, they have the resources to maintain healthy relationships with themselves and others.

Does trauma happen to Christians?

Obviously, one can look at just a small portion of traumatic events listed and know that Christians experience trauma. The problem arises when “well-meaning” Christians want to treat trauma as something that is not real, or they have the attitude that trauma can be prayed away or even worse that if you are going through trauma, you must lack faith.

Are Christians traumatized? Yes.

Are they traumatized by the same things non-Christians are? Yes.

How should Christians respond to trauma?

Many Christians experience trauma and find themselves unable to cope with the stressors that come with it due to the lack of resources and counseling. Churches especially can be a great resource because they provide a sense of community and knowing that someone else has been through what you’re going through. Churches also can be a place to go to get counseling and support. Christians should first find out what they are experiencing as trauma. How do you know if you are experiencing trauma?

People with trauma often experience a lot of the following symptoms:

– Feeling detached from others

– Feeling isolated

– Feeling hyper-aroused

– Feeling numb

– Feeling angry

– Feeling sad

– Feeling depressed

– Feeling anxious

– Feeling overwhelmed

– Feeling frustrated

– Having trouble concentrating

– Having trouble sleeping

– Having trouble eating

In addition, people who have been traumatized can have these symptoms:

– Agitation and irritability

– Low self-esteem

– Sleep problems

– Impulsivity

– Feeling suicidal

– Thinking of harming themselves or others

– Impulsively acting out

– Having trouble controlling their anger

– Inability to trust others

– Having trouble making decisions

– Having trouble being assertive

– Having trouble focusing

Treatment can help reduce the symptoms of trauma.

Healing takes time, so you need to be patient with yourself and allow God’s power to work on you.

How can one work through memories of trauma?

In the past, when people were traumatized, they might feel guilty about what happened because they thought that they were supposed to be strong and that they were supposed to be able to get through it. They might have thought that they deserved the trauma. A therapist can help you take a different perspective that would change your entire life.

If you are ready to work through your trauma, there are a few things you should do.

– Talk to someone about your trauma. Especially someone who will understand. This person might be a friend or a family member, a pastor, or a counselor.

– Get the help of a therapist. If you are in a relationship, this person can help you work through your trauma.

In the aftermath of a traumatic event, it is not uncommon for a person to experience a great deal of anxiety and fear. The resulting feelings can cause significant stress and instability in their lives. It can also lead to mental health concerns such as depression, insomnia, and social withdrawal. These symptoms are very challenging to manage because they leave the individual feeling much worse about themselves and their situation.

Getting Help

If you have gone through trauma, I want to encourage you to get help.

Trauma can be tough. It can leave us feeling alone and afraid, and we might suppress our emotions for years after the event happens. It is essential to know that there is hope and healing available. One way to do this is through talk therapy: talking to a therapist about what happened and their feelings. Another option is through prayer: praying and seeking support from God and others to find peace again. Please reach out, even if it is to me. You do not need to carry this burden alone.

Conclusion:

How the Scriptures encourage us to handle trauma.

Many people find themselves in situations where they are faced with traumatic events. After these events occur, many people are left with questions about handling the trauma they have experienced. They may experience intense feelings of anger, disappointment, grief, or guilt. The scriptures encourage us to be gentle and kind to ourselves and others and accept that God’s peace is found in Christ. Your own personal relationship with God is not based on your ability to do something but on your willingness to receive God’s grace. You may be wondering how a Christian should go about handling trauma with the Bible. After all, the Bible speaks extensively on how we should live when things are going well and when they are difficult. Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you.” Matthew 11:28.

The Bible was written by people who experienced trauma during their lifetime. A Christian should not be afraid to discuss these experiences with God and other Christians. God wants to help us all heal, but sometimes it may take time and be difficult. God will do everything in His power to help us heal.

I close with this.

Every human being will experience trauma. It is impossible to go through life without experiencing some type of trauma. As a Christian, you, too, will encounter tragedy and hardship. However, God has promised to never leave us or forsake us.

Arrogance

by Josh Monda | Dec 12, 2013 | random thoughts, Uncategorized

I have been thinking alot about knowledge lately. Sometime it seems we try to use knowledge as a weapon or as something to hold over someone else. I know people that can’t seem to wait to get the inside scoop on a situation just so they can say they know about it. Or to act as if somehow they know more about it than anyone else. Some people even seek out to know more then others to the point of gossip because they have to know what is going on in a situation. Interestingly enough these people never gain complete knowledge of a situation they merely gain what they want to know and hurl and cast their judgments from ignorance rathe than knowledge which seems odd when knowledge was apparently what they were seeking in the first place. Not sure if this makes sense to anyone.

This has become especially true over my circumstances in the recent weeks. Though I have been through alot as well as my family I am amazed about what people think they know about my situation only because they heard something from someone else. In reality these people know very little because they are acting on limited knowledge or in many cases ignorance. Some even casting judgments or having preconceived thoughts without really knowing all of what has happened.

Tonight I read

1 Corinthians 8:1-3 Now concerning things sacrificed to idols, we know that we all haveÂ knowledge Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies. If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know;Â but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.

These verse are primarily dealing with christian liberty. The Corinthians were faced with a hugeÂ dilemmaÂ and in reality they needed help. Not much different then us they lived in the middle of a sinful and pleasure filled society so how were they to act. Â The Corinthians needed guidance from the Apostle Paul could they eat meat offered to idol and what about social function what were they to do? What restraints were put on the Christians liberty or freedom? Could the Christian do whatever they wanted to do? Is there a difference between the Christians behavior and the worlds? It is with that backdrop that Paul is writing here in 1 Corinthians 8. Â What I wan to talk about is this knowledge that Paul is talking about in the first 3 verses.

It seems to me what Paul is saying is to judge according to love not according to knowledge. This strikes me as differentÂ becauseÂ we usually do the opposite. Paul states in the very first verse that “we all have knowledge”. I am sure that some of the Corinthian believers were stressing the importance of using the intellect to determine right from wrong. There are three very important points Paul gives us concerning knowledge in these verses.

1. Â Knowledge makes arrogant but love edifies.

I think the point is clear. Just because one can reason through the facts and clearly see something gives them no right to be arrogant about it. Yet our quest for knowledge about circumstances and the like often is done so we can know more than anotherÂ believerÂ or so we can set someone straight. Â The root of this is arrogance. This is the very thing Paul is coming against.

Paul is making it clear that the rule of all Christians is to be love not knowledge. It is love that builds others up and helps them to grow not knowledge. The Christian is not to run around stressing their superiority because they know more than someone else. We are to love and control our lives from love.

2. Paul tells us that knowledge is only partial.

Here is the kicker no matter what someone thinks they know it is always incomplete. We are totally incapable of knowing anything in its fullness or its totality. Of course we like to think we know things but in reality we do not. We often like to try to think rationally but the truth of the matter is to be rational is often weak especially when compared to thinking through things with love instead of rationally. So the next time we think we know something or we think we know the whole story I would encourage you to stop and think again and react and be motivated from love rather than knowledge.

3. Love unites us to God.

If someone loves God then that person is known by Him. Did you notice that we are not known by God because we are always thinking rationally. It also does not say that we are known by God based on our knowledge. It is based on one thing and that is our love. God know us because we love Him. The person that decides to base their life on love rather than knowledge that person is loved by God.

“But if anyone loves God, he is known by Him” (1 Corinthians 8:3)

I give this challenge the next time you seek knowledge about a circumstance or a situation try to seek love instead. See if it makes a difference. To often our knowledge leads to arrogance. So much could be accomplished if we only sought love.

John Piper

by Josh Monda | Dec 12, 2013 | random thoughts

Came across this video a little while ago and really liked it.

Though I do not support Barak Obama I can’t say that I buy into the whole ideals that everything I am is wrapped up in the political process. I remember my Sunday School class discussin politics briefly and many people say they fear what will happen if Obama is elected. My questionÂ was and still is why? When i notion the fact that if Obama is president it is because God has allowed him to be people some how can not fathom such a thing. I would challenge those who believe in Jesus Christ to let their vote count but also let their life count. As usual I think John Piper has said it well in this short clip.

Today I decided to use two videos as my post. The first video is of John Piper I am sure most of you have already seen it but I wanted to share it anyway. Every-time I watch this video I am moved. Since we have been getting ready to move I have clamped down on money realizing I need to save as much as possible. I still could probably tighten down even more like cut off cable, and so forth. But I often think of how much I spend on different things and wonder how is this going to help me bring someone to Christ. Often I may be convicted about spending and justify it in my own mind as a need but it is usually a want.

I grew up very poor. I can remember my mother working three jobs to support us and keep food in our stomachs. I remember going to the dump site to look for stuff. I can remember times not having anything new for Christmas I was satisfied with what I had. I think as time wheres on and we get more we spoil ourselves and become less satisfied with what we have. I think of how half the world lives on less then $2 a day and how we stand in line at buffets and throw food away, how we get upset without fast internet, etc., while in Haiti people are eating dirt.

Ill never forget the pictures a missionary friend of mine showed me of children from Haiti. I remember asking him why their hair was orange and he telling me it was because they were not getting nutrients. Some of the stories he shared I will never forget. Even when I grew up poor I was not really poor. I recently heard of a challenge where the church had challenged the people to live on nothing but beans and rice for a week and to take what they had saved and donate it to the poor. Maybe we can all learn from this. Anyway thanks John Piper for this video it makes you think, of the prosperity Gospel.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukcV-xtU3hc

The second video speaks of the affects of the fall of man. I have been often asked the question why is there suffering? Or why is there death and pain? The answer to say because of sin is usually not popular typically we want to water it down. But the truth is the truth.

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, andÂ death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned–(Romans 5:12)

I do not look around the world and wonder how it can be so messed up I know how it is because of sin. Why do we treat each other so poorly? Â Because of sin sadly much of it is Christian on Christian. The first time I watched this video I cried. I was motivated what am I doing to share with the world the very hope that is found in Genesis. Yes we all have sinned but right after God pronounces his judgement he says this

And I will put enmity Between you and the woman, And between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise you on the head, And you shall bruise him on the heel.” (Genesis 3:15)

This is known as “protoevangelium” or “first gospel” your big word for the day. Praise God that he had already planned the death of His son for our salvation. Please enjoy the video.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kgs0EDlNv80