Leadership Principles
I have recently been reading a lot about leadership and have had many engaging conversations on the topic. I am certainly not an expert when it comes to leadership and am positive that I have probably displayed terrible leadership at times in the past. With that said in many of these conversations I have come to this conclusion. Leadership can be measured by influence. I do not care to have a long drawn out post about this but let me give 3 ways leadership is measure by influence.
1. No Influence – Not a leader. This is the person that perhaps leads by position. They believe that because of their position they are a leader and sometimes they may even demand respect that has never been earned. This person will consider themselves a leader and even if asked would probably tell you that they are leader however they have no influence. If someone proclaims to be a leader but no one is following then they are not a leader. Just the same, if someone proclaims to be a leader but they have no influence then they are not a leader.
2. Bad Influence – Bad leader. This is the person that may have many people following them. They look back and they may even have people cheering them on and taking up their cause. However they are leading in the wrong direction. Perhaps this leader has no vision, or perhaps the leader knows the vision but chooses to lead in the opposite direction. In addition this leader will often lead people away from what is healthy and right for the overall company. In the secular world this person will often go against the vision of the company. In the church world this person is typically not a team player. They want to form their own team and do their own thing. ultimately this person ends up being divisive in what they do.
3. Good Influence – Good Leader. This person looks back and they have people following them. They are are leading in the right direction. They are able to cast a healthy vision and get people on board to accomplish that vision. They are typically respected not because of their position but because they have built adequate relationships with people. In fact people love them and would do just about anything for them. This leader is a team player and because of that the team feels much better to have this leader. They empower others, and sometimes even stretch others to go beyond where they may feel comfortable.
Now I want you to think about the kind of leader that Jesus was? He had a following, he had people that gave their life for Him, he stretched people to go beyond their comfort zone, He cast vision, and we could go on and on. The truth is that Jesus was the ultimate leader of which we can take note. I hope that I could lead a fraction of the way the Jesus lead.
Often as pastors we focus on evangelism and many times when we speak of evangelism we speak of those that are primarily outside the walls of our church. We will often challenge our people to share the gospel with those they work with, their neighbors, etc. However, what about those that are inside our church? What of those that perhaps have even been coming to church since they were children and perhaps have taught Sunday School or even bean a deacon or etc in our church. Is it possible that our churches have lost people in them? Is it possible that we even have people in positions of leadership that are lost?
This became very real to me in college. I attended a revival and a friend and I began to talk to a Sunday School teacher at this revival. During our conversation it became quickly apparent to both of us that this teacher did not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ yet they were teaching Sunday School in the church. We took time to share the gospel with them and I wish I could say they accepted Christ right there but I do not know what happened. Later in life it became more and more apparent as I had opportunities to speak in different venues, I began to notice a trend of people coming to Christ who had grown up in the church. One particular time while speaking at a Youth Camp I gave a call for people to come forward and accept Christ and several of the adult leaders came forward. I do not think any of this is related to me or that it is because I am some sort of powerful speaker, in fact I am sure the opposite is true. I do however, think it is because we often make the assumption that those within the church are already saved and sometimes we fail to share the gospel or we fail to be passionate about it within our church.
Let me share some words of Jesus
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ Matthew 7:21-23
When I read those words often I weep. I do not weep necessarily for those outside of the walls of the church but I weep for those inside. I weep because when I read them there is one thing that stands out to me. Those that are portrayed in this passage of scripture truly think they are saved. The really believe that they have the right to be in heaven and yet they will be cast out. How many sunday school teachers, deacons, and even pastors will this include?
Think about it break the verses down. In verse 21 we clearly see that profession alone will not get someone into heaven. We can profess all we want. I can profess to be a big mac that does not make me one. My son at times has professed to be a Sasquatch does that make him one? No! Neither does a profession that Jesus Christ is Lord get you an automatic ticket into heaven. Your profession can be as sincere as you want it will not get you a pass. Why? Because profession does not equate to possession. In addition a profession is self centered and we can never stand before a Holy God and proclaim anything great about ourself.
Look at verse 22. The Plea of the person who has merely a profession is “works”. These people are trusting in their works to get to them to heaven. They have gone through their life and maybe even one day said the “sinners prayer” but they are not trusting in Christ they are trusting in what they have done to get them to heaven. They have done many great things seemingly for the kingdom of God, yet they are not allowed into heaven. I can hear the cries “Lord haven’t we taught in your name, and preached in your name, and seen people converted in your name, look at what we have done in your name.” However, it is all meaningless. How many in our churches today will be proclaiming these very things, how many think they are saved but are simply trusting in all they have done. How many give money, have been baptized, are teachers, etc. but in the end have never placed their faith in Christ.
Look at verse 23. Very plainly Jesus says I never knew you. These have never trusted in Christ as their savior however they still think they are saved. Yet, Jesus has to proclaim “I never knew you”. In addition what they have done is simply evil. They have performed great works ultimately for self, and not for Christ. This should cause us to weep. How many have done good in the eyes of men but will be cast out on this day? Weep for those in the church. Don’t become apathetic, don’t settle for calling the people for commitment to those outside the walls of the church but preach the gospel with passion, as one who is on fire, as one who is preaching their last dying sermon, and know that there maybe those within your church, those that teach, that lead that have done many great things but are lost as they can be. Perhaps we need to reach those inside our walls before we can reach those outside the walls.
Invariably the question always gets asked of God. Why? Why would God allow children at Sandy Hook Elementary School, in Newtown Connecticut to be gunned down. I will not pretend that this is somehow and easy question to answer in fact it is far from it. I do know this it is not a new question.
This question was asked long ago in the Old Testament book of Job. Job asked God why, David asked God why as well. In fact the world has been asking God why for a very long time. Throughout history the world has continued to grown with this question. Why God? Why are babies born only to die, why did I lose my father or mother, why did 9/11 happen. Today is no different: why did 26 people have to die? Where are you God?
I am a pastor and I have asked this very same question many times over again. Why God? Why did we lose our baby to a miscarriage? Why was my daughter born so early and had to suffer so much? Why did you allow this to happen to me? Immediately my mind goes to what Jesus said when he told the disciples they would suffer. I understand that in this world I too will suffer.
If you ask me why God allowed 26 people to be killed most of whom were children at Sandy Hook Elementary, honestly I would say I don’t know. I do not have the answers. I am not God nor can I pretend to be Hm. In addition I refuse in times like this to go into some sort of huge theological discussion on Why? I do know something and that is that this world needs Jesus.
I know that this world was created perfectly. It was created without Sin. However, through one man sin entered the world. You see Adam made a selfish choice when he ate the forbidden fruit and ever since that time humanity continues to make selfish, arrogant, ignorant choices, that go against a Holy God. We have been infected by sin, and we are under the curse of sin. What happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School is a direct result of Sin. Humanity ever since the fall of Adam has groaned for a Savior and today is no different. There is only one solution to sin and that is to place your faith in Jesus Christ. To surrender your entire life to Jesus Christ and do things His way. Until Jesus returns or calls us home we will live in a sin filled, sin tainted world. But I know Jesus and I look forward to something great.
There will be a day when the suffering will end. There will be a day when no more will the question be asked of God why? There will come a day when there will be no more Sandy Hook shootings. In fact there will be a day when all of the suffering of this world all of the 9/11’s all of the school shootings, all of the terrible things in this world will pale in comparison to the Glory of God. One day I will step into heaven and I will realize that these troubles were only temporary and the glory of God is forever.
Ultimately when things like this happen we can either urn to God or allow it to drive us far from God. It will make us better or bitter. It will either cause one to surrender to Christ or stay away from Christ. We have seen where the same circumstance cause a different response in people. This world Cries out for a Savior and the only Savior that can take away the pain of sin, the curse of sin, the stain of sin, the shame of sin, is Jesus Christ.
It really seemed like everything was going great. He had a large crowd following after Him is this not what every leader desires. After all if no one is following who are you leading? But it is in this moment that Jesus does the unthinkable by our standards He turns to the multitude and says if you do not hate your father, mother, brothers, sisters, and even your own life you cannot be my disciple. This seems so out of place. Why in the world would you want to say this and alienate everyone that is following after you. In addition did not Jesus call us to love even our enemies?
Look around at modern evangelism. look around at the church today. We give cheap invitations, and lessen the call to discipleship. We have made christianity about us and what we stand to gain, how it benefits us, and what God can do for us. Where do we talk about the cost, when do we say that the cost to follow Christ calls us to supreme sacrifice? When do we say that it will cost us, that the ultimate price must be paid? Why is this left out of our evangelistic efforts? Furthermore, why have we relegated following Christ to cheap tricks, where we try to get people to raise there hand walk and aisle and declare them saved when they have no clue of a decision they are making?
Think with me about Luke 14:25-35
Jesus is clearly telling us that he must have first place. That He comes before everything and everyone, he is not disguising what He is saying so why do we? He then takes it further and lets us know that we have no business entering into this decision without first counting the cost. Yet today we never challenge people to count the cost. We do not challenge people to allow this decision to weigh heavy on their heart. Instead we get false professions and fill our church with false Christians who have no desire to follow Christ but have every desire to get what they can from Christ. To follow Christ must mean there is a cost involved it will cost us all that we are, all that we have, and leave us wanting nothing because we will be satisfied with a life that is completely filled with Christ.
Just in case we are confused Jesus then tells us that we are like salt and makes it abundantly clear that a half hearted choice is a worthless choice, because it does absolutely nothing. Therefore it is good for nothing and must be thrown out. He then makes the call clear. If you have ears then you need to listen. Why do we continue to not listen and do our own thing? Why have we cheapened the call?
We must make no mistake about it. To follow Christ will cost us, and we must preach that there is a cost. Verse 33 of Luke 14 makes that clear. If we are now willing to forsake everything then we can’t be His disciple. This was the very problem with the rich young ruler. He came to Jesus proclaiming he was ready to follow. Eventually Jesus exposes his heart by telling him to sell al he had an then come and follow him. He walked away sad. This is what happens many times when we speak the truth, people walk away sad, convicting, but not willing to do anything about it. It is this very point that cause so many to be lost, so many to be condemned, because to really follow Christ means that it will cost us our home, cars, family, friends, jobs, investments, money, anything we have, because it means that we surrender it all to Him. We must count the cost, and we must preach this.
Next year I will be celebrating my 20th year in ministry. For all 20 of those years I have been involved in youth ministry. During my time as a youth minister I have seen time and time again Pastors, Youth Pastors, lay leaders, etc. sacrifice their family for the sake of ministry. I have had times in the life of my family where I was forced to do a reality check. Weeks where I was spending 80+ hours in ministry, convincing myself that it was the Lord’s work, therefore it did not matter if I was taking time from my wife. When I entered the ministry I knew it would not be easy, and likewise when I entered marriage I knew it would not be easy. I was a student pastor before I was a husband, and there are times when we can wrap our identity up into our ministry while failing miserably in our family. I have seen families crumble, kids miserable, wives on the brink of leaving and in some cases leaving, all because someone has failed to put their family in front of their ministry. We must stop.
I really wish I could write to you and tell you I had a great mentor, or a wise man that took me under his wing and showed me how to put my family first, but the truth of the matter is I did not. The truth is I did not have even a healthy marriage modeled for me, and early on in ministry I sought God’s word to see how I could be a Godly husband and father. I developed a plan that I knew I must stick to and it looked like this. God, family, ministry. My wife knew she was marrying a man that was in pastoral ministry, she knew there would be hard times, and late nights, she new we would never be rich. However, I am not so sure she knew how hard the times would be, how late those nights would get, or how little money we would actually have at times. Sometimes it is in the doldrums of ministry that life can seem so difficult. There is one things that I have repeated to my wife on a constant basis and that is this “if ministry ever takes place of my family, say the word and I will walk away.” That is not to say I would turn my back on God because I would not, but we must come to a healthy understanding that our first ministry is to our family. If we can’t effectively minister to our family how in the world are we going to minister in God’s church. I hate to sound crude but I believe stan at ties is using ministry to effectively destroy families and when a leaders family crumbles it is a terrible testimony to those outside of the church. The outside world should look at the church as lighthouse of hope however, when the church is getting divorced just as much then we have lost that hope. We have lost our voice. Friends the church is failing miserably and at an alarming rate to equip moms and dads not only on marriage but on how to raise their children. A sermon once or twice a year is not enough.
These are the reasons that I decided to constantly work on my marriage. My marriage is far from perfect, trust me I have had people peer deep into my life and deep into my marriage and say some very terrible things, often having no idea what they are talking about, this goes with being a leader. However the joy of marriage for me is that my wife is constantly changing as am I and there always seems to be something new to discover, and I love it. Very early on my wife and I decided we would attend marriage conferences and we have attended several over the course of our 16 years of marriage and we will attend several more. These conferences provide a great way for us to discover each other once again. In fact we are gearing up right now to attend one of those conferences September 21 and 22 we will be heading to Indianapolis to attend the real marriage conference. Though I may not agree with everything Mark Driscoll says or does as I am able to be discerning, at least he is doing something to try and keep our marriages healthy. If you would like to check out a video go here Real Marriage. If you would like to try to make it to the conference go here http://www.gotothehub.com/liveevents/real-marriage.
If you are reading this post then here is my challenge. Do not use ministry as an excuse to neglect your marriage. There is never an excuse.